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I know it's ridiculous to get annoyed about this...

(16 Posts)
choosyfloosy Sat 22-Aug-09 19:42:28

... but I'm going to vent anyway.


Am woken from a precious lie-in this morning by dh bringing the phone up. On the line, a female friend of my dad's. A girlfriend, I think, as he left my mum for her umpty years ago, but he has had several other girlfriends since and she lives in another country, so I don't know their relationship status. I guess I don't care enough to ask. I've never met her and have only spoken to her once before. Anyway, she says that my dad is behaving 'unacceptably' by not calling when he says he will, and can I tell him this, as she is now clinically depressed and him breaking promises is very bad in her situation?

I wish I were woman enough to say to her that I expect human beings over 21 to sort out their own relationships. Anyway, isn't she from the generation that always complains about no-one writing a letter any more, why the hell doesn't she write to him, or move to the same country, if she's so desperate to be in touch? And if she's only just worked out after 16 years that you can't believe a word my dad says, she's had quite a good time of it really, I'd worked that out by the time I was 11.

It's depressing to think we may still be doing this relationship shit aged 100. Anyone fancy joining a convent on retirement?

cupcakesinthesnow Sat 22-Aug-09 19:44:22

So what DID you say to her?!? I would have hung up!

mumblechum Sat 22-Aug-09 19:53:33

Um, I think I'd start by shooting your dh for bringing the phone to you when you're asleep.

MaggieLeo Sat 22-Aug-09 19:58:31

she must be on the brink to ring you!

are you going to pass on the message?

cupcake78 Sat 22-Aug-09 19:59:36

I have to agree with mumblechum. This morning I was enjoying a cup of tea in bed, reading my book (bliss) when my mum phoned and dh explained I wasn't about and said I would call her back grin.

I can also see how rediculous the request is as well so I wouldn't be happy either.

choosyfloosy Sat 22-Aug-09 20:13:38

Yes, dh has a different attitude to the phone to me. In his family they do this thing where when a person phones, everyone in the room chats to them in turn. Can't get used to it.

Now my dad has just rung, asking me to buy him an air ticket to her country so that he could 'rescue' her. I don't have that sort of money and refused... I asked if she had no money as well, and he said 'Oh, she's got money'... I guess he has promised to go and see her, without the resources to do so - maybe she thinks he is actually solvent, my dad talks a good game. God knows.

Reading MaggieLeo's post, i wonder if I am being too cow-ish. The thing is, I don't know this woman, I genuinely don't have much money (I guess I could lay my hands on £50 or so but dh would be furious) and I am a bit desensitised to mental health crises because dh is so frequently psychotic and depressed himself but always manages to pull round quickly. Oh God maybe I have called this wrong.

cupcakesinthesnow Sat 22-Aug-09 20:45:34

It is not your responsibility to find money to pay for your father to go and see his girlfriend! I am sorry to sound harsh but both your father and his girlfriend need to grow up it seems!

dittany Sat 22-Aug-09 20:50:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ridingjoker Sat 22-Aug-09 21:14:53

2nd "fuck off" here

how old is your dad btw?

YanknCock Sat 22-Aug-09 21:36:20

Ummm...this is SO not your problem! Your dad needs to sort out his own ridiculous love life, and his female friends should NOT be trying to get you involved, regardless of their mental health issues! You have no obligation to talk to this woman at all, would suggest that you tell her that and put the phone down if she contacts you again!

choosyfloosy Sat 22-Aug-09 21:37:58

He's 78 years young winksad.

Still, it's nice to remember again what a huge favour he did my mum by leaving - her life has been loads better since. God I hate the sh*t he comes out with, I really do. When I wonder why I don't have a close relationship with my father and feel guilty about it, I'll come back to this thread.

ridingjoker Sat 22-Aug-09 21:57:00


<rj faints at 78 yo asking dd for money to see his "friend">

talking Sat 22-Aug-09 23:24:12

Why is this woman involving you in her relationship with your father - is she trying to shame him into "behaving"?

What odd behaviour!

lilacclaire Sun 23-Aug-09 00:56:28

Uuuh, my dad had girlfriends like this, I feel you annoyance.

I usually said, well he didn't change for his wife or kids, so good luck!

choosyfloosy Sun 23-Aug-09 20:33:37

Bloomin good question talking

Thanks all for reading smile

mathanxiety Sun 23-Aug-09 21:07:11

No money. Ever. And tell her to ffff offffff next time she calls.

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