Following on from my thread 'desperate - need advice please'.
I really hate myself at this moment in time! I'm so tired, stressed, upset, angry etc. that I'm starting to take it out on my dd. I'm up several times a night with both dd's as they are very unsettled at the moment because of the situation and now eldest dd has started wetting the bed! So I'm lucky to get an hours sleep a night, plus I can't face eating at the minute and my energy levels are zero!
Everything she says at the minute is daddy this, daddy that, but that's daddy's, when's daddy coming home, when's he coming for his bags (that I've just packed for him to take away!) etc. It's just killing me. I've just shouted at her at the top of my voice and told her he is a complete arse that he doesn't want to be here so we haven't got a daddy any more! What a BITCH i am!!!! What am I going to do??????
I really resent my dd's at the minute and just want to give up on everything, tell him to come and take them away and just disappear somewhere! I know I would regret that if I did but that's just how I feel at the minute! I hate him, I hate myself. I resent the fact that he has just walked away back to his family, has everything done for him and leads this cushy new life, where I am stuck with the whole responsibility of selling the house, maintaining the house & car, rehoming the animals, taking care of the dd's etc. etc. - he's not got to lift a finger! Text him to ask him to take some of the responsibility from me - but surprise surprise, NO RESPONSE!! I then got angry and text his ex, asking her why she chose to come back into his life knowing full well he was married, to upset the apple cart and if the pair of them were telling me the truth about 'just friends' then respect me and my dd's and walk away from him right now to give us a chance! as I think she's formed such a strong bond with him that he thinks he's in love with her! Again, no response! I'm sorry but am I correct in thinking there must be something going on between them? If I was a true friend to someone and their partner was hurting badly and their marriage suffering, I would certainly forego my friendship with them if that was want they wanted, no matter how much it hurt me!
I want to just up and leave the house but know I can't do that because I need the monies from the house to help me build a new life for the dd's and myself, but it just doesn't happen overnight does it and I just can't bear the thought of being stuck in 'our' house for months on end waiting for it to sell before I can move on! If I up sticks before it is sold though, I know he would move in and delay the sale (if it ever got sold) as he has nowhere to live, other than with his family, and I would loose out BIG time - I can't afford to do that.
My only lifeline at the minute is family some distance away, who I talk to via the phone! I can go and stay with them for a break and I feel great when I do, but then as soon as I step back into this house, I drop back down and the whole negative process starts again for me!
I am waiting to see a counsellor but that is still a good few weeks away (can't afford to go private - I'm a SAHM and totally dependant on dh's money!)
Please help me.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Help - taking it out on dd!
5 replies
talie · 29/05/2005 06:50
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.