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Sick of feeling like i OWE him something

(13 Posts)
Evesmama Sat 28-May-05 23:22:39



last night when dp came in from work, he said he couldnt work out where the money he'd taken from the bank had gone...spent x on this, x on that..x for my weekly spends..x(same amount) for his weekly spends..£& on lager...EH?

surely that would come under his weekly spends???mine go's on dd and her clubs, treats etc..never spend hardley any on myself!

today had break between veiwing hosues, so he suggested we go for lunch and joked that i was paying!
half jokingly, but half serious cos was on my mind..said you can pay for lunch as you still have x amount left after buying lager out of kitchen money(still following?..boring i know)

well that was it...said i was calling him a thief and if i had control over the money we'd be up shit creek...im a chheky bitch and other words to that effect...but best of all...

its HIS MONEY...he EARNS IT...so he could spend what he wanted!

now, i agree i wasnt very diplomatic the way i brought it up, but they way he said it was he spends much more than our agreed amount, when we are supposed to be saving every penny for this new house....wether he WAS gunna do that??i dont know?....

sorry to say i had a right go in front of dd, said after ten years together, 7 years living together, our dd and me being the higher wage earner for sooo long in our relationship and never tight with my money..how dare he say its HIS money..this went on..but for once i didnt cry!, i just got angry!
im sat here 24/7 on call for our dd, washing, cleaning, decorating, cooking etc etc..trying to keep thwm both happy and trying to set up a childminding business so i can get off benefits....how dare he
so F***G P**D at him, for being such a W**R..he go's into 3 year old tantrum mode and says stupid things like..no Eve, we're not going for lunch now..not ever again cos maamy opened her big mouth!pathetic and childish...i really hate him sometimes
he has no confindense or respect for me lately

Flossam Sat 28-May-05 23:28:28

EM< sorry you had such a horrid day. Men are intrinsictly (sp) selfish I think. I have been on mat leave since oct, am running out of money and trying to sort myself out with some work. DP owes me some but has now spent all his spare money (250) on a new playstation SP and acessoryies. When I ask for my money he tells me he can'r afford it and if i've run out I have to go back to work. I have carried on paying my share of the bills as I would as if I was still working. I have had no money off him in the whole time. And yet he still feels entitled to shout at me for asking for a measly £65 that he owes me.

Evesmama Sat 28-May-05 23:32:19

for you Flossam

fed up of feeling worthless anda s econd class citizen

felt like telling him to eff off today..sometimes i wonder what i SHOULD do
he can be nice one minute then totally over react and act like a T**T the next

Flossam Sat 28-May-05 23:33:31

sorry em, can't help you really or i would have sorted my dp out myself!

Evesmama Sat 28-May-05 23:34:23

i know hun

Evesmama Sat 28-May-05 23:37:22

sorry for winging on to you..am going to bed now..pretend everythings alrite

lavenderrr Sat 28-May-05 23:39:48

but you're married so you share everything surely. Would he mind paying someone to look after his dd 24 hours a day??????Sounds like he's a typical man who expects childcare comes for free as his hid dw will do it for nothing....would he get paid nothing in his job.if he worked from home...I totally sympathise(have had this conversation with dh many a time)....is there no way you could go away for a week and leave him to charge to do everything, cooking, the works. I think some men are just ignorant because they do not do this stuff and they think it is nothing...a week in the real world might wake him up a bit....maybe I dunno

Evesmama Sat 28-May-05 23:45:18

we're not married, both never wanted too???maybe thats something i should have looked deeper into?

couldnt get away

80% off time he's fine..always trying to make things better for us etc, but even though he tells me he 'couldnt' do 'my' job...never seems to recognise 'what' i actually do

lavenderrr Sat 28-May-05 23:50:13

it shouldn't make any difference, a child is a life long commitment, he should wake up to his resposibilities....juat out of interest and please tell me to mind my own business, but will you ever get married? not that it matters.

Evesmama Sun 29-May-05 21:14:27

i doubt it

giraffeski Sun 29-May-05 21:19:38

Message withdrawn

Evesmama Sun 29-May-05 21:22:50

thing is..todays been great
been laughing joking all day and even though dd been wingy, still been alright!

when talking about moving tonight and the fact we are being unfair to dd expecting her to be good while we trapse round houses or when we want to go shopping..dp said, well like ive said before, as soon as you pass your test, you can go off on your own or go out somewhere as then you can just go and it wouldnt mean him dropping me off, dd screaming for me and then having to pick me up again!

its swings and roundabouts!!!

dont know wether im coming or going sometimes

Orinoco Sun 29-May-05 22:03:27

Message withdrawn

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