Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

caught my husband checking my mobile phone..

(22 Posts)
pinkyp Sat 22-Aug-09 00:11:42

Was texting a few friends last night and i put my mobile in my bag. My husband went to get a bath. I went in the kitchen to see if i had any replys and my phone was gone. I then went upstairs and my husband jumped a mile and looked all guilty. I never said anything as i was too shocked as i knew he had it. Went back downstairs and tidyed everything of the kitchen work tops etc. Later when my husband came back down stairs i asked him if he'd seen my phone. His response was "oh yeh it was upstairs but i've brought it down". I replied with "no it wasnt i left it in the kitchen". We said nothing more about the matter but i'm now wondering why? Am i just being daft or does my husband not trust me? I've read his texts before a vise versa if his phones been next to me, but i've never took his phone out of his way and read them in private. What do i do? Or shall i not do nothing?

wheniwishuponastar Sat 22-Aug-09 00:15:45

can you ask him?

pinkyp Sat 22-Aug-09 00:18:57

to be honest i feel a bit awkward asking now. I'm a whimp.

MinkyBorage Sat 22-Aug-09 00:34:44

was there anything incriminating in your texts? If not, great, chances are he won't bother again. Maybe you need to reassure him.
I'd be pissed off if dh did this, but not badly I don't think. I wouldn't rule out looking at his texts if I wanted to know the lie of the land.

DollyPS Sat 22-Aug-09 00:50:01

Has he done this before at all as that would worry me actually.

I would ask why though.

TiggerIsEisCat Sat 22-Aug-09 01:25:10

my DH did this and i made it clear to him that i knew what he had done and was very clear that i thought this was a total breach of my privacy and IMO shows that he doesnt trust me completely!! i would never, without very good reason, check up on him!! whether this is by reading texts or whatever he has no right as i have never done anything to raise his suspicions!!

i would definitely confront him about it and ask why he felt the need to do this if he trusts you!!

MsHighwater Sat 22-Aug-09 10:00:53

Could it be that he thinks - because you have read his texts before - that him doing it would be OK?

Assuming there is nothing "incriminating" in your phone, I think you need to ask him why he took the phone away, though. Best not to sound angry about it, though. That might only make him more inclined to be suspicious.

HecatesTwopenceworth Sat 22-Aug-09 10:03:00

clearly he feels worried about something.

Don't let this be the elephant in the room. Talk about it. Ask him why he is concerned.

morningpaper Sat 22-Aug-09 10:10:08

wouldn't bother me at all

I'd assume he thought I was a complete babe, liable to be wooed by any man who comes near, and is worried that I'm about to run off with someone else, and I would view this as a compliment wink

CyradisTheDMSlayer Sat 22-Aug-09 13:56:22

Message withdrawn

diddl Sat 22-Aug-09 16:07:36

Well, you do read his texts, so I can´t really see your problem.
I can´t see why his phone being next to you makes it OK.
It´s still his phone, and the text is unlikely to be for you.

DollyPS Sat 22-Aug-09 19:08:09

See it was the sneaky approach that gets me here not oh lets see who has texted you then.

He took the phone to the bathroom then denied it WHY? thats the part I dont get at all,

Is he insecure at all hen as that would be why he took the phone. To check up on you. That isnt on by the way and you need to say so.

FabBakerGirlIsBack Sat 22-Aug-09 19:27:37

Jut ask him

He is your husband

You should be able to ask him anything

MrsHappy Sat 22-Aug-09 19:29:47

You are assuming he took your phone to read your texts.
There could be another explanation - maybe he wanted to get some numbers from your contacts, for example. That would fit more with him sneaking off with the phone.

Just ignore it - even if he was reading your texts, you say you have read his and I am not sure that doing so is about trust (or lack thereof). Maybe he was just being nosy!

yama Sat 22-Aug-09 19:38:17

Maybe it's just nosiness rather than a lack of trust.

I wouldn't dream of reading someone else's texts but that is because I was brought up in a very large family and privacy was protected.

I understand that others don't share my placing such a high importance on privacy.

pinkyp Sun 23-Aug-09 01:23:16

well i havent said anything more about it, i dont mind him reading them - like i say we've done it before when we've been sat together messing with our phones. It just struck me as odd that he'd took it and then deniyed taking it for whatever reason. If it happens again i will say something, think i've left it a little too long to bring it back up now.

Speckledeggy Sun 23-Aug-09 11:07:40

He's checking up on you. Probably can't believe you have so many friends texting you!

I used to look at my ex-boyfriend's mobile because I didn't trust him and I found all sorts. Now I'm married to a wonderful man and have never checked his phone once.

I'd let it go. If there was nothing there he won't look again. Probably feels like a right tit now tbh.

skidoodle Sun 23-Aug-09 11:15:52

He's being sneaky and underhand with your private stuff. If that's the kind of marriage you want then by all means say nothing.

mampam Sun 23-Aug-09 14:41:09

I personally wouldn't have any problem at all with my DH looking at my mobile phone. I have no secrets and nothing to hide.

pinkyp Tue 25-Aug-09 00:51:47

i dont mind him looking, like i've said before we often look (whilst the others in the room) not just look at texts but at our photos etc, just his behaviour was different like he was suspicious...

Mammina Tue 25-Aug-09 06:54:16

have you got a birthday coming up? maybe he's planning something?

seeker Tue 25-Aug-09 06:59:12

Ask him.

It will worry away at you if you don't.

Ask him.

But if you read his, then he should be able to read yours. Do you read his letters and emails too?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now