Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

would you go out with a platonic male friend without DH? would your DH mind?

(34 Posts)
2fedup Fri 21-Aug-09 16:49:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TAFKAtheUrbanDryad Fri 21-Aug-09 16:53:59

It depends on how secure your dh is, I guess. My dh wouldn't have a problem with this, because I've always had male friends, and a lot of my male friends pre-date him!

If your dh is the jealous type, then I can see how he might have a problem with it, but if he is a generally chilled and relaxed kind of bloke then just ask and see what he says. For me, it wouldn't even cross my mind to ask, it's too much like asking "permission" to go out IYSWIM, but if it's something that isn't usual in your relationship then running it by him and making sure he's ok with it would be a considerate and kind thing to do.

What would you do if he said no?

TitsalinaBumsquash Fri 21-Aug-09 16:56:56

I would go out with a couple of my male friends, dp wouldn't give a toss tbh, he trusts me 100% plus my male friends usually accompany me to the theatre and things he doesn't like so its no biggy to him!

2fedup Fri 21-Aug-09 16:57:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TAFKAtheUrbanDryad Fri 21-Aug-09 17:00:37

Does he ask you permission before he does stuff?

CMOTdibbler Fri 21-Aug-09 17:02:36

DH would have no problem with it at all, and of course I'd go out with male friends.

Friend recently suggested that a group of us went to a Butlins event - the group is from uni and so is 5 blokes and me. Dh keeps reminding me that I haven't sorted this out yet, so obv has no issues

UnquietDad Fri 21-Aug-09 17:07:33

I'm always amazed how many relationships have "issues" about this sort of thing. Soon people will be trying to prevent their husbands or wives even talking to anybody of the opposite sex.

Tommy Fri 21-Aug-09 17:11:58

I do go out with make riends at times but they are people that DH knows as well - the male half of a couple IYSWIM

Not sure how I'd feel if I suggested I went to the cinema with a man he didn't know but then I never go to the cinema ( nor do I go out to work so don't know any men - lol)

I don't know why but the cinema seems a bit more "date" than just meeting up in a pub with a group [hm]

Tommy Fri 21-Aug-09 17:12:36

keep doing that today..... hmm

ABetaDad Fri 21-Aug-09 17:14:17

No I would not have a problem with it at all. She used to go out a fair bit with single male frends when we were younger. If it happened a lot with the same person or he was inviting her out to dinner and dancing I might get a bit hmm but DW would not accept such an invitation anyway.

puffylovett Fri 21-Aug-09 17:18:33

Yes I would, and no he wouldn't. I'd ask him first of course, but he wouldn't care at all. Would probably enjoy seeing me go out and enjoy myself, particularly if it was a film he didn't want to see

2rebecca Fri 21-Aug-09 17:36:49

I go out with male friends usually on sport related things. They tend to be married and about 15 years older than me though. I wouldn't let bloke go to the pictures with a woman. He can go on his own or with a male friend as I wouldn't go to pictures with a bloke. If I want to go to something and bloke doesn't I'd go alone.

UnquietDad Fri 21-Aug-09 17:55:02

I'm intrigued as to what you think people are going to get up to at the cinema. It's probably the least likely place for shenanigans to develop. You can't even talk, for one thing.

cocolepew Fri 21-Aug-09 17:57:00

Ahhhh but there's always the backrow UQD.wink

JeMeSouviens Fri 21-Aug-09 18:00:16

I would, and would ask, but DH is friends with most of my male friends anyway. In the reverse situation I'd want to know, or be friends with any female that would ask DH to a similar thing.

Celery Fri 21-Aug-09 18:05:21

I'd love to, and my dh wouldn't mind, but his girlfriend wouldn't like it. sigh.

2fedup Fri 21-Aug-09 19:32:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bigmouthstrikesagain Fri 21-Aug-09 19:40:00

No problem for me to go out with male friends I have many gay straight married and single. A result of being a music obsessive from my teens.

Dh would be ok as it means he wouldn't have to go out and no baby sitter would be required. If he didn't trust me we wouldn't be married.

OrmIrian Fri 21-Aug-09 19:50:21


theDMplagiarisedLeonie Fri 21-Aug-09 19:54:34

Message withdrawn

Wonderstuff Fri 21-Aug-09 19:58:27

I would go, DH wouldn't mind. I have often been out with single male friends.

daftpunk Fri 21-Aug-09 19:58:53

no, wouldn't dream of it in a million years, would rather go on my own...

Boys2mam Fri 21-Aug-09 20:57:19

I think it depends on your relationship.

You know your intentions, but do you know your colleagues?

Would you like it if DH went out with a female colleague?

I trusted my (now ex)H. We had been together for 7 years - when he went out with a female colleague I believed it was platonic. We are now divorced and they are engaged to be married. He swears nothing went on til we were over but hmm

Are you sure your colleague has no ulterior motive? If so then chat with your hubby and see how he feels about it.

MorrisZapp Fri 21-Aug-09 21:55:46

My best drinking buddy is a man but it doesn't bother DP, mainly because buddy is gay.

'Gay men are the loophole in monogamy' as Carrie Bradshaw rightly said grin

MadBadandDangerousToKnow Fri 21-Aug-09 22:07:26

Indeed so, Professor.

I go quite regularly to the cinema with a single male friend. DH is entirely unbothered by it.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: