Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

I can 't say this to my mother so can I say it here?

(50 Posts)
FabBakerGirlIsBack Wed 19-Aug-09 21:12:04


dollius Wed 19-Aug-09 21:15:30

Yes, say it to me.

drlove8 Wed 19-Aug-09 21:15:42

say whatever you need to baker, smile... get it out , then get on with your life.

HolyGuacamole Wed 19-Aug-09 21:15:49

Go on fabbakergirl, spill.

Weegle Wed 19-Aug-09 21:16:06

please do - what we're here for!

(ps still meaning to mail you - am going away tomorrow for a while, all chaotic!)

expatinscotland Wed 19-Aug-09 21:16:41

go for it

FabBakerGirlIsBack Wed 19-Aug-09 21:18:06

I so do not want it in the daily mail though

dollius Wed 19-Aug-09 21:20:12

Then mail or CAT me or whoever you feel most comfortable with

FabBakerGirlIsBack Wed 19-Aug-09 21:21:15

You know what, stuff it. I am fed up of hiding away like I have done something wrong.

Here goes -

BitOfFun Wed 19-Aug-09 21:23:15

They're doing lunchboxes this week, and won't be mining relationships, apparently.

FabBakerGirlIsBack Wed 19-Aug-09 21:26:13

What possessed you to get pregnant?

Did you really think my dad would marry you when you had lied and cheated so many times?

Why did you dump me at the social services office and leave?

Why did you kick off when I wet the bed aged 2?

Why did you dress me in clothes that were dirty and didn't fit yet take money for my keep and spend it on fags/men/the pub?

Why did you shower me with gifts but never once hug me?

Why did you have to mess up every foster home I was in that was happy but stay silent at the one where I wa not fed, had shoes that were too small, were hit by the other kids and the mother and abused by the father?

Why did you not believe me when I told you your boyfriend had tried it on with me?

Why did you send threatening letters saying you would kill yourself if I didn't invite you to my wedding?

Why did you ring my MIL and make her tell you I had my baby?

Why have you threatened to get access to my children when you didn't give a shit about your own?

Why did you have me?

FabBakerGirlIsBack Wed 19-Aug-09 21:27:10

Oops, didn't realise I was so angry and that doesn't even scratch the surface with what she has done.

LilRedWG Wed 19-Aug-09 21:28:30

Oh sweetheart. (hugs)

TheCrackFox Wed 19-Aug-09 21:30:15

Good grief FabBakers, your mum sounds like a prize cow.

Do you really want to maintain contact with her? She sounds like poison.

HolyGuacamole Wed 19-Aug-09 21:30:34

Your last question is the one you shouldn't be angry about because you are here, have a fab family yourself and have broken the cycle. You should be really proud of yourself.

Very sad post FBG sad

Weegle Wed 19-Aug-09 21:31:13

good on you for writing it down - I hope it feels in some way cathartic. Have a very un-MN hug from me smile

You shouldn't have had to go through even an ounce of that, and I'm sorry that you did. Thank god you're doing right by your children - that's all you can ever do to rectify the wrongs done to you - I have to remind myself that all the time: you can't do anything to change your past but you are doing a wonderful job of ensuring your children never feel one iota of what you have.

FabBakerGirlIsBack Wed 19-Aug-09 21:32:52

Sorry HG blush

TCF - I'm not in touch and last saw her in 1993 - ish. My father's mother still spoke to her and I found out 2 weeks before she died she had told my mother I had children. My MIL then told her all about my new baby sadangry

dollius Wed 19-Aug-09 21:33:00

Oh Fabby.

You have every right to feel this anger towards your mother. And it is good to see you expressing it.

She was shit. It had nothing to do with you. It was just about her.

You have done amazingly well just surviving, let alone managing a happy marriage and three gorgeous children.

You are wonderful and she didn't deserve to have you.

AnyFucker Wed 19-Aug-09 21:33:13

< speechless >

No wonder she is not in your life, FBGIB

Best all round, methinks

FabBakerGirlIsBack Wed 19-Aug-09 21:34:19

I don't feel I am doing a good job with mine but my DH tells me at least my kids are fed, have shoes that fit and I am here.

JuJusDad Wed 19-Aug-09 21:36:07

<doesn't think he can add anything of value>

<but wants to show support for FBG, and fully agrees with sentiments of LilRed, HolyG and Weegle>

FabBakerGirlIsBack Wed 19-Aug-09 21:36:13

I just remembered another one -

why did you tell me you booked an abortion to get rid of me?

She said it meant she wanted me as she didn't go along with it but really it was because my dad didn't turn up with the money to get there and pay for it.

LilRedWG Wed 19-Aug-09 21:36:19

Your DH is right - you are a good mum. It's really hard sometimes, but you love them and that is the really, really important thing.

dollius Wed 19-Aug-09 21:36:35

You are doing a good job.
Your children are safe, secure, go to school, are clothed, fed, and KNOW that you love them.
They are not shunted around foster homes at the whim of their mother.
They are not disbelieved when they say something bad has happened.
Their parents are there when they need help with their homework or to talk about something.
Their parents are there when they need a cuddle and some warmth.

You are doing more than a good job, you are doing an amazing one, given that no-one gave you the tools to do all this.

FabBakerGirlIsBack Wed 19-Aug-09 21:37:28

I feel really blush and attention seeking to post this but my God I can't tell you how good it feels to get it out.

Thank you so much.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: