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Please tell me it gets better

(13 Posts)
ineedalifechange Mon 17-Aug-09 21:43:51

I've namechanged obviously. (and Daily Mail please don't quote this thread...not that it's that interesting...but anyways!)

I've split up with H earlier this year. He's off out of the country for a few months, I'm left holding the baby.

I'm low. I'm fed up. I'm making changes to get there. Just please someone tell me that it gets all better.

That one day I will forget all the hurt he's caused me? And that someone will love me? Argh I sound self-pitying!

OldLadyKnowsNothing Mon 17-Aug-09 21:53:22

It will get better. You'll stop loving him and missing him, and start coping on your own - because what's the alternative? Like millions of women before you, and millions more to come, you'll take on the burden of raising your DC without him, and you'll do it to the best of your abilities.

You'll meet new people and make new friends - and you'll probably fall out with some of them. You'll fall in love again, and maybe you'll get your heart broken again, but you won't know till you try.

warthog Tue 18-Aug-09 08:56:52

OldLady knows everything!

iwillmakeit Tue 18-Aug-09 20:55:52

Blimey old lady does seem to know all!

I hope its true as am in similar situation, h left us 5mths ago, came back for 3wks and p*d off again sat.

So am scaping myself back off the floor and just trying to get back to where i was so i can continue my journey.

Good luck INALChange hope it gets better for u, one day at a time a?

ineedalifechange Tue 18-Aug-09 22:07:29

I will, I'm so sorry. It's an awful feeling, I know.

I'm thinking of you. Take each day as it comes, I agree. [hug]

StirlingTheTired Tue 18-Aug-09 22:17:47

You wont believe it now but you will be like a pheonix from the ashes - you will come out of this stronger and confident because you will know that you were able to get on with things and hold it together while he decided to walk away.

It may take a while but you will get to the stage where you will feel nothing when you think of him. And, your dc will know that you were there for them - the strong one smile

OldLadyKnowsNothing Tue 18-Aug-09 22:57:22

And, as proof, I give you this thread, which I have just read from beginning to end. It covers a pretty long span of time, from the beginning of a break-up, through the dark, lonely days, and then the OP slowly gets stronger (with the odd setback) and it ends... well, you can look for yourself.

That'll be you, that will.

isheisnthe Wed 19-Aug-09 08:09:04

and also dailymail don't quote my thread - I would be mortified sad

inthemistsoftime Wed 19-Aug-09 09:17:16

I remember hurting so much it caused me physical pain, ex left me in Nov last year, with 2 children, who were very aware that daddy had left, I had to be so strong for all 3 of us.

Well here I am 10 months on and so grateful that I am not with the arse anymore, how can men people do such things to people they profess to love!

I am the happiest I have been in years, I found myself again and me and the dcs have a wonderful life together, and last but not least I have a new partner who is everything that the ex isn't.

I promise it will get easier, keep posting here, it helps enormously.

Papillon Wed 19-Aug-09 09:36:42

little steps

work on loving yourself and raising your self esteem first before you let someone into your life... not will someone love me.

Great to hear you are making changes!

ineedalifechange Wed 19-Aug-09 09:52:33

THanks, its good to read the positives.

I'm in the midst of depression I think (well have been for about the last 2 years) caused by the moodiness and sullen attitude of ex and me trying to make it all ok, bend over backwards to be everything. Now I'm just exhausted.

To top it off I suffer badly from anxiety (due to all the stress). But I'm doing stuff to help myself (counselling etc etc).

I've also started my healthy eating today, as I always feel bleurgh when I haven't taken care of myself.

Anxiety and depression are crippling. I'm just clawing my way back out of it, but it's good to see others can do it and make it. And their lives get better.

ninah Wed 19-Aug-09 10:12:19

yes it most definitely does get better inalc
just take one day at a time, continue with the positive things you are doing. One day you will realise you haven't thought about him and the hurt for 24 hours, 48 hours, so on ... there is life beyond divorce. Don't forget lone parents' threads also as there are lots of us in the same boat

iwillmakeit Thu 20-Aug-09 21:55:10

INALC Hope ur feeling like 2day has been easier for u.

Had a horrible low last night when he came round with no wedding ring on, hes obviously moved on so much more than me, got through thr finance chat and then started to cry, got a consolatory(?) rub on the arm as he left, cheers!

So i rang a mate and blubbed at her husband as she was doing bedtime and he coped pretty well!

Felt better by the end - his advice as a dad left holding the baby - was to think of something I enjoyed doing but didnt and work towards doing it again. So have promised myself i will dust off my paints and paint my boys a picture (i have had the canvas for nearly 3 years!).Might still take a while mind.wink

What r u going to do?

Take care xx

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