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think i want to leave my p

(3 Posts)
donthaveaclue Mon 17-Aug-09 14:21:53

have had enough of his nastiness and horrible ways.when we're good we're good but when we're not its awful and i cant keep doing it.i have a dd3 and am pregnant with dd no 2 due dec.its not nice for dd1 to keep seeing us rowing constantly.
i have no money as i have stupidly been completely reliant on p for last 9 years.i dont drive and i dont even have a bank account.not currently in the uk but will be moving back soon.what are my options....if any!! thanksx

Spero Mon 17-Aug-09 14:28:32

Do you think stress about the move/pregnancy might be making it worse?

Its a massive decision to decide to leave your partner, especially when you have children and I think you need to be sure that decision is not influenced by other things which may be having a bad impact on the relationship but which are not going to last for ever.

My advice would be to move back to the UK, try and relax, get over all the stress/hormones of moving/giving birth and consider your options calmly when things have calmed down a bit for you.

Do you have any supportive family/friends in the UK? How are you practically going to manage the move? Maybe you could stay with some family/friends, get a bit of pampering, while you partner sorts out somewhere to live and then resolve to have serious think/discussion in the new year when all the dust has settled. He probably can't think straight at the moment either, but when you are both back and settled, maybe he would consider couples counselling.

Good luck, I know its horrible. But it is really such a serious decision you need to be sure in your own mind that you did what you could and didn't rush into a decision you might regret.

boyraiser Mon 17-Aug-09 14:30:01

Do you have some family here? Or good friends? I know it is hard to admit that a relationship has "failed" (so to speak), but if you are in need, your family & friends may rally around.

Failing that, there are women's refuges and you may be eligible for benefits and assistance with housing. This might be a good place to start for information:
www.womensaid.org.uk/?gclid=COXc2OXlqpwCFU0A4wodcgPrjw

www.benefitshelpline.com/?keyword=benefits

It takes lots of courage to leave a bad relationship, especially when kids are involved, but you are not alone - a quick trawl through the 'relationship' threads on MN will show you that you can and will be happy again.

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