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I am devastated...what do i do?

(13 Posts)
Wolfblass Sun 16-Aug-09 14:01:38

Message withdrawn

Wolfblass Sun 16-Aug-09 14:03:22

Apologies for typos but i have the baby on my knee x

bethoo Sun 16-Aug-09 14:07:09

he is an alcoholic and needs help. it is a difficult situation and until he admits he has a problem and wants to help himself then you can either sit by and watch or tell him to get out which may give him more reason to drink.
like i said it is a difficult situ and i am sure there may be someone here with the same experience you are gong through.
good luck and remember that your children come first so if there is a possibility that they may be affected then you must think about the future
xx

mrsboogie Sun 16-Aug-09 14:17:58

Oh god. He is an alcoholic as you know - he probably never stopped drinking but got a bit more careful at hiding it from you.

What is really worrying is your mention of a truck and bottles under the seats - does he drive for work? if so it sounds extremely likely that he is driving drunk. If he is you HAVE GOT to report him. If you don't he will end up killing himself or some innocent family. It might be the wake up call he needs - at the very least it will stop him from drinking and driving.

Please do not hide your head in the sand.
You cannot stay with this man if he refuses to get help.

mrsboogie Sun 16-Aug-09 14:20:00

also please be aware of your own drinking - there is a hint in your own post that it has increased - apologies if I am wrong but please don't let him suck you into alcoholism with him.

Wolfblass Sun 16-Aug-09 16:43:33

Well after spilling my guts out in an email he sent me one back and left the house.

I sent him a text to come back and talk.

He admitted he has a problem. Doesn't know the cause for drinking - just likes to and it gets out of hand.

He has phoned the AA, they called him back - he was on the phone for 40 mins and will be going to an AA Meeting on Friday (as he is working away until then).

Fingers crossed.

Wolfblass Sun 16-Aug-09 16:47:04

And as for drinking while driving, i think he's been drinking it on the drive when it's parked up....

Metella Sun 16-Aug-09 16:47:51

You poor thing, Wolfblass. At least he is talking to AA, which is good.

KembleTwins Sun 16-Aug-09 16:50:56

al-anon is for people who have been affected by a family member of close friend's drinking, and can offer the sort of support you need. Try contacting them (al-anonuk.org.uk) Good luck.

mrsboogie Sun 16-Aug-09 17:50:08

well it's a start, the thing is he has to want to stop and unless he does nothing will make him. There's nothing you can do except support him but at some point you may have to prioritise your and your children's welfare over your wish to stand by him.

He must spend an awful lot of time sitting in the driveway drinking - you know it is illegal to even be sat in the driver's seat drunk with the ignition off?

skihorse Sun 16-Aug-09 18:28:55

I too am worried about YOUR levels of drinking, IMO 3 bottles of wine a week is a LOT! And that's what you're "admitting" to...

BitOfFun Sun 16-Aug-09 18:33:22

Why does he keep your bank card? That's not healthy.

poopscoop Sun 16-Aug-09 18:34:02

you do realise you have named both your children in this thread, and may want to get it changed, after what has happened with DM recently.

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