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Controller or not so what are you in your relationship

(1 Post)
DollyPS Sat 15-Aug-09 19:22:13

I was a controller but am much better now as I can see when I slip back to the way I was.

It wasnt helped by my mother and the abusive relationships I had in the past.

I had enough and became a controller and had to have counscelling for it years ago now but I feel that I have come through it.

My hubby has been a controller as well and thinks nothing finding things funny when you try and talk to him. He is the one to lay his feelings out on the table so to speak.

He has got better over the years for us as a family unit I have to say and we discuss things better and dont argue as much either.

Yes we are not perfect but who is.

So do you see trying to control things in your relationship or is that your partner. Do you work on each others faults and try and learn from them as well. I try this as I could easily slip back to what I was before and I dont want to be there again. It wasnt a nice place to be thats for sure and I could of easily of ended up alone as I needed to control everything and that isnt good for a good relationship is it.

I found this quiz and I scored 14 on it but if I took it years ago I'd score 30 as I can see me in all of them

www.care2.com/greenliving/are-you-controlling-quiz.html#

So can you see yourself this way and have you taken steps to stop doing or had to leave a partner because they where the controller.

I had to leave my last partner as he was a controller and had massive issues surrounding women and wouldnt sort that out so I had to leave for the safety of my family. He was so sweet and slimey because he had my family believing his lies. It wasnt till I got away that they noticed all the things he'd do to get them on side.

I do have a better relationship now only because I worked on it and wouldnt just yes sir no sir either. listening to your partner and them listening to you. Yes I know men tune out at times but I think if they want it to work they do listen.

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