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I have totally been played - what an idot... and when did dating all get so compllicated?

(147 Posts)
beenplayed Sat 15-Aug-09 17:59:40

Basically title says it all.
Im back in the dating game after getting divorced. All ready to move on.
Chatted to lots of guys, not met up.. not liked them enough.
Then... WHAM! met this fantastic bloke. Hit it off like nothing before. Constant emails/texts. All got a bit raunchy, x rated pics, texts, msn and cyber sex. ( not something i have done before!!)
It was like this for a week. We had agreed to meet up.

Then nothing. He goes totally cold and has now ignored my last email/text.

I dont get it at all... have been totally played havent i!

What an idiot, lesson learnt.

FabBakerGirlIsBack Sat 15-Aug-09 18:02:22

You are not an idiot if you learn from it.

Go at your pace next time and don't be in too much of a hurry.

pinkteddy Sat 15-Aug-09 18:04:02

Don't let it make you feel bad, whatever you do, don't text him again. You deserve better than him. Put it down to experience and better luck next time smile

cheekysealion Sat 15-Aug-09 18:04:25

I have had it with men it is to much like hard work for me (see my other thread about date being cancelled)

Quite like being single to.. like to get my pj's on and take my make up off at 7pm!! smile

beenplayed Sat 15-Aug-09 18:07:57

LOL- im in my pjs now!!! just had a bath with DD!
Make up off, hair tyed back and will be sitting down to a DVD and a takeaway when shes gone to bed.
Dvd is prehaps very apt ' hes just not that into you!!

What i dont get most of all, is i have pics of his cock.
he was would have got laid, and he knew that. What sort of bloke turns that down.

Im very confused!

beenplayed Sat 15-Aug-09 18:08:53

yeah, i read your thread cheeky.
What a git, clearly you deserve better, but its still so frustrating isnt it.
Sure it was much less complicated when i was 18!

abouteve Sat 15-Aug-09 18:14:11

He's probably got a few on the go and chose to get it in RL with the one who is most available. Sorry!!

I agree, take it slower next time. Cyber sex shouldn't be with anyone you are hoping to meet. It should be solely that. I've tried in once as an experiment then blocked the guy as the thought I would be up for it again blush.

Good luck for next time. I'm like you, cannot be bothered to waste my time on the losers who contact me via the dating site I'm on and off when the mood takes me.

BitOfFun Sat 15-Aug-09 18:20:15

I'm glad you're going to watch that movie- I saw it again recently and it is a great night in! You will pick up some tips for sure! smile

cheekysealion Sat 15-Aug-09 18:32:56

i have the DVD and not watched it yet...

might watch it after pub tonight or tomorrow night

Jujubean77 Sat 15-Aug-09 18:37:33

What is cyber sex? That may sounds very naive but totally genuine....

Sorry you had this experience though, I think you had a good escape before you got physically involved

Chevre Sat 15-Aug-09 18:38:50

pictures of his cock! [naive and repulsed emoticon]

beenplayed Sat 15-Aug-09 18:45:20

yep pictures of his cock - erect!
And he added me to facebook, i should upload it and tag him shouldnt i!

Yep - prob a good escape, im just a little confused as it was him chasing me... and literally we agreed to meet up one day, and the next he just started ignoring me.

anyway - his loss

dittany Sat 15-Aug-09 18:45:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

beenplayed Sat 15-Aug-09 18:47:52

but i still dont get it

surely it would be better to actually have sex with a real person????

expatinscotland Sat 15-Aug-09 18:50:18


Someone who started up all that before we'd even met would have been a MAJOR red flag for me! As in, 'You're a freak. Not meeting you. Bye!'

Why on Earth would you want to see a photo of his cock before you'd even met?

I hope he hasn't got any x-rated pics of you.

Next time, slow it down some.

dittany Sat 15-Aug-09 18:55:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

beenplayed Sat 15-Aug-09 18:55:52

only boobs
So not that bad.

Like i said, i have NEVER done anything like that before. Not going to again now.

Basically we were just going to meet up for sex, and i was more than fine with that ( its been a while!)

So that why im a bit confused really, it was pretty no strings to start off with...

expatinscotland Sat 15-Aug-09 19:01:09

Look, I'm no prude. I've been round the block a fair few times, and had my share of one-nighters and flings.

But someone like this I'd not touch with a ten-foot barge pole, tbh.

I understand you might be horny, but seriously, don't put yourself at risk with someone like this.

People like this scream, 'STI you can catch even with condoms!' to me.

If you're looking for a friend with benefits or a quick shag, try to network around first among people you know.

beenplayed Sat 15-Aug-09 19:05:27

yeah i have

lets just say he was very very good with his words.
He didnt just send me the pic off the cuff... he took a few days and it was only in the context of the conversations we were having.
Thats why i didnt think it was odd.

If he had sent that straight away there is no way i would have even responded.

Anyhow - i know ive been played, feel a bit stupid and still confused.

dittany Sat 15-Aug-09 19:14:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

inthemistsoftime Sat 15-Aug-09 19:17:56

I am really sorry beenplayed that you have had such an experience, it is such a let down cos you think that you might have met someone that you really can connect with, but then they turn out to be losers, and remember just that, that they are the loser. You are worth so much more.

Online dating is a real minefield and one has to take it with a pinch of salt.

On the upside, there are real gems out there, you just have to shift through them. I found my new man online and am totally smitten, as is he (I think smile), persevere, it may actually be worth it!

beenplayed Sat 15-Aug-09 19:36:58

mist - i think you have it there. Its a total let down as i though i had connected with someone ( in the most cave man type of way.. but hey!)
He clearly wasnt who he was making out he was.....
Im clearly niaeve

lesson learnt

Dior Sat 15-Aug-09 19:58:08

Yes, as others have said, the fact that he sent you a photo of his cock and wanted cyber sex means that he just wanted to get off. He's probably married with children and doesn't want to take it any further than a wank. Hope you had fun too or it would have been a TOTAL waste grin.

SerendipitousHarlot Sat 15-Aug-09 20:30:29

I'm sorry for your experience sad

But I can I just mention that I had cyber sex with someone for ages - and I saw pics of his cock before I ever met him, or even spoke to him - and we've been married almost 6 years grin

Chinchilla Sat 15-Aug-09 20:32:41

Hence your name grin

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