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do I tell ex partner's new girlfriend he's addicted to phone sex and prostitutes

(9 Posts)
mogs5 Sat 15-Aug-09 04:41:02

I found sexy text messages on my partner's mobile. I checked my computer and found hard core websites and listings of escort agencies with payments being made. When I confronted him he admitted he was addicted to telephone sex. Of course he's gone now. I'm glad I found out as we were house hunting and he had asked me to be with him for ever...

Luckily we lived too far apart for us to already have moved in. I had my doubts as , even though he didn't drink his house was unkempt and he never seemed to have any money so he was on borrowed time anyway.

it turns out that in the 15 months we were together he has had about 40-50 women/ prostitutes. I'm getting myself checked out and essentially feel compassion for him as he cant help it but should I contact one of the women I know he is currently seeing?

BananaPudding Sat 15-Aug-09 04:53:51

My first thought is no, he isn't your business anymore. I can see how you'd want to or feel you should for her sake, but I doubt it would do any good and would just create another connection between you and a man you've rightly rid yourself of. Unless you have children with him, be done with it.

kidcreoleandthecoconuts Sat 15-Aug-09 07:19:57

I would keep out of it. His new girlfriend is unlikely to believe you anyway and may think you're the bitter ex out to cause trouble. Forget about him, sounds like you had a lucky escape.

gingernutlover Sat 15-Aug-09 07:30:27

i would tell her actaully, not because I want to get him in trouble but because she needs to know for her own sake and for her health. If i was sleeping with someone who was also sleeping with lots of prostitutes then I would want to know.

I know she is unlikely to believe you but it might just plant the seed of doubt so that when he begins behaving strangely then she will check it out. Is there anyway you could get a mutual freind to tell her or somthing?

piscesmoon Sat 15-Aug-09 08:12:37

I would keep well out of it.

nje3006 Sat 15-Aug-09 09:08:13

I would tell her too. If I were in her shoes I would want someone to tell me. It's tricky finding a way to tell her without sounding like a bitter ex but even so I would still try to find a way.

Malificence Sat 15-Aug-09 10:22:42

I would have to tell her, I don't suppose you've kept the proof have you?
She could fall pregnant to this vile man and I would have to have a go at telling her, whether she believes you or not is up to her.

Grandhighpoohba Sat 15-Aug-09 11:58:44

Problem is, if you tell her and she goes, are you going to tell the next one, and the next one and on and on. Because I think he might have a case for getting out an injunction. Maybe, you just have to hope that he has learned his lesson, and that she's an adult who can take responsibiity for her own choices. And then leave it be. I do understand the impulse tho. Poor you, and poor woman who ends up with him.

If you can't leave it be, maybe you tell him that you will tell if he doesn't go get some counselling?

2rebecca Sat 15-Aug-09 15:22:17

I wouldn't. If she asked me I'd tell but I wouldn't deliberately hunt down an exes girlfriend, especially as he sounds as though he gets through loads of women. He's not your problem now.

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