I'm so messed, I need to get away from him

[TimeoutTimeup]

its not all him.

We are as bad as each other but the difference is hes not scared of me,

Everyone thinks hes perfect, I rang my mum in the middle of an argument because Iwas scared, he was screaming and raving , I hung up.

She rang back later and her first words were 'is xxx(dh) ok?'

no one cares asbout me, noone listens to me, i am talked over, even the children take the piss out of me.

But im pathetic and cant do ANYTHING without him, my anxieties and non existant confidence and a very warped but true love keep me tied to him,

we cant be apart, but together is hell.

I often think the only option to get out of this is one of us die. Then theres no choice for it to be over (am not suicidal or murderous btw, ha)

But i feel weak and exhausted and e has twisted my wrist, squeezed my face and called me a whore and a dyke.

Im so tired of it all, but wil go to bed crying and wake up trying to forget.

[TimeoutTimeup]

Reading this back seems unreal, like thayt can't be about me. how is this my life?

how has our love gone so wrong?

i slapped him, it was not unprovoked.

[TimeoutTimeup]

I will be back on at some point but may have to go soon in case anyone reads this.

feel a bit stupid, but so upset.

[Hassled]

You do need to get away from him. First chance you get, call Women's Aid - talk it over with them and see what advice they can give you. You can get through this.

[TimeoutTimeup]

but its me too. im horrid, im violent.

we do it to each other,

i dont feel abused i feel like we just bring out the bad in each other despite our love.

[Hassled]

But you're scared of him, not the other way round. And you don't hurt people you love. You just don't. It might be dependency, it might be habit, but it's not love.

You really need some professional help - please call WA and just see what they say.

[kittywise]

What you have is NOT love.

[mrsboogie]

That is not love. That is mutual loathing. You need to separate for everyone's sake, then see whether there is a way back.