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Have you ever got in touch with an ex? And if so were they all charming and nostalgic...?

(8 Posts)
wannaBe Thu 13-Aug-09 14:16:39

I happened upon my ex on facebook over the weekend. Found him as result of looking at the friends of friends... you get the idea.

We parted some fifteen years or so ago because basically we lived in South Africa and I came back to the UK. Had planned to go back but he found someone else (which was inevitable really as I'd been gone a while) and thus we split and went our separate ways. he called me a few times after that, but gradually contact fizzled and we lost touch.

So out of pure curiosity I sent him a friend request. he accepted and had a couple of message conversations, most of which were about what we're both doing now etc, the rough time he's had (has been engaged once, married twice...).

But he's trying to be such a charmer... not in terms of wanting to charm me now but in terms of "oh I thought about you a lot over the years/am so happy that you're happy" and interspersed with that is all the nostalgia "oh I kept x that you gave me all these years ago/I went to x place where I knew you lived" (and I know he couldn't have been there because it's a secure place that you can't just visit as it was a diamond mine so basically it's bullshit), and all I can do is think... hmm

I wonder if it's an ex thing? grin

mrsboogie Thu 13-Aug-09 14:21:07

I'd rather remove my eyeballs with a dirty spoon than contact any exes hmm

Overmydeadbody Thu 13-Aug-09 14:25:14

I'm with mrsboogie

wannaBe Thu 13-Aug-09 14:29:30


Tbh we didn't part on bad terms, it was more through circumstance than anything else, but was obviously meant to be as I have the life I love etc.

So getting in touch didn't bring up bad memories or anything - it was mere curiosity, and I have remained friends with all of my ex's bar one..

SolidGoldBrass Thu 13-Aug-09 14:32:19

Yes, a couple of years ago, got back in touch with 'first love' via FB and ended up meeting him (and his fiancee and various of his mates) for a drink. Another friend of mine came along too (all three of us had been students together) and it was all fine - nice to catch up and have a good chat with him, chat with his new friends and his fiancee, wish each other all the best and trot off our separate ways. Now and again we might comment on each other on FB but that;s about it really, no illwill on either side but no huge great close friendship either.

Roomfor2 Thu 13-Aug-09 14:35:25

It's nostalgia only. You (and he) will see it with the rose coloured glasses that memories of a carefree youth will give you...

Step away from Facebook! Just keep it all in its rightful place as a memory.

ZZZenAgain Thu 13-Aug-09 14:37:29

I exchange Christmas cards with my ex's (I am a bit weird maybe) but that's all and no nostalgia trips to date.

wannaBe Thu 13-Aug-09 14:56:57

lol I don't feel the nostalgia tbh - and I can see it going the way that SGB's did - having a couple of message conversations (he lives in South Africa and I live here so we're never going to meet again) and then occasional comments - if that.

fwiw it's all above board and dh knows about it and I certainly wouldn't go back there.

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