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Advice needed for my niece who's been threatened by her ex!!

(9 Posts)
Dec Wed 25-May-05 22:00:03

Is there anyone out there that can give me some advice to pass on to my 25 year old niece?

She split up from her 42 year old partner 4 months ago and since then has been verbally abusive to her.

Yesterday he phoned her and threatened to cut her throat. When she ended the conversation he ended up at her front door and scared the life out of her. Unfortunately her 3YO DS tried to open the front door so you can imagine the panic going on at the time Her kids wanted to see their dad (they don't see him very often - his choice), but of course my niece was desperate for him to go away!

The saga ended when she called the police at 7.30 pm, and again at 8.30 pm. They eventually turned up at 11pm, just as her mobile started to ring. Because she ignored the phone call, her ex again turned up at the front door. The police went outside to speak to him and returned 10 mins later advising her to resolve their differences. It turns out he told the police he was merely concerned about the children and denied being abusive at all. He has beaten her in the past and been in prison for violent behaviour.

The question is - what does she do now? she's living back with her dad (who's in America at the mo), is on social benefits and is only 2 streets away from her ex - so easy access.

It has got to the stage where she's afraid to take her DD to school or even leave the house. The police were extremely unhelpful as they can't do anything unless "something happens". She's trapped - help!

Any suggestions gratefully accepted

darlingbud Wed 25-May-05 22:01:36

can she take processes with a solicitor to get an injunction of some sort? sorry don't really know exactly what to do but at least this will bump it for you.

Dec Wed 25-May-05 22:04:53

Thanks for the bump - I've got her on the phone at the mo and she's ready with pen and paper to write down the tip!

Also perhaps Samaritans could give her a helpline for threatened women for more advice - anyone know of any?

debs26 Wed 25-May-05 22:09:39

she needs to keep a diary of everything that happens and i think you do it thru a solicitor, tho if she calls police they would probably tell her how to go about it. did she call local station or 999? i would class it as an emergency so they should be there pretty quickly

Dec Wed 25-May-05 22:11:54

Thanks Debs - another one on the list. She called the local station at 7.30, but dialled 999 at 8.30 when he was at the house. On the first call she did ask if she'd get quick response if she had to dial 999 later and was told she would. They still didn't turn up till 11pm I'm too far away to help her myself and am feeling pretty helpless!

tammybear Wed 25-May-05 22:14:34

when i broke up with my xdp, he was quite verbally abusive to me. rang me up at work, kept texting me, calling me. the advice i was given was to keep any texts/messages that show his behaviour, and to also inform the police, but sounds like theyre pretty useless! unfortunately i deleted the thread i started on here that had everyones advice so just trying to remember from off the top of my head

darlingbud Wed 25-May-05 22:16:09

are there any domestic violence helplines she could ring - yellow pages?

tammybear Wed 25-May-05 22:19:13

i found this number, its the 24 hour national domestic violence helpline: 0808 2000 247

Dec Wed 25-May-05 22:22:02

Thanks everyone - we're perhaps starting to feel a little more optomistic and useful now that we have a starting point. He hasn't contacted her today (which is good), but she's afraid he might have gone out drinking after work (which is bad). Aaarrrgghhh!!!!

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