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Am I over-sensitive?

(7 Posts)
tabitha Wed 25-May-05 21:33:39

I'm a bit embarassed about this as it seems so silly compared to other peoples problems, but it's getting me down (and I've had a couple of glasses of wine, so inhibitions are going ) so I thought I'd post it anyway.
I moved house approx 18 months ago when I was pregnant with dd3. While on Maternity Leave I got to know a couple of other mums with kids the same age on the same estate as me. Since then I have invited both of them round for lunch/coffee a couple of times and had (so I thought) a rally nice time. Both have promised to invite me (and dd3) back but never make firm arrangements. It's the same with other RL friends. I always feel that I have to make the effort to meet up and that they, while quite happy to go along with any arrangements I amke, never actually any effort to keep up our friendship themselves.
It sounds trivial, I know, but it's really getting me down.
Am I being over-sensitive or am I really that unlikeable?

mckenzie Wed 25-May-05 21:46:14

I can think of a few friends of mine who might say the same thing and it's not because I dont like them or enjoy spending time with them, it's because there just aren't enough hours in the day and days in the week to do everything that i'd like to do and sometimes laziness kicks in and I go for the easiest option.

Does that make sense? What I think I'm trying to say is that I'm sure it's not you - it's just life! Only you can decide though whether you're happy to make all the running huh?

debs26 Wed 25-May-05 21:46:33

i am v guilty of never making arrangements with friends. i never ring people or suggest to meet, but am usually happy to do so when they ring me. its not cos i hate my friends, i am just rubbish at getting myself organised! i would arrange stuff eventually but people always ring me before i get round to it. im sure thats whats happening with you, if they didnt like you they would say no when you rang

Evesmama Wed 25-May-05 21:48:20

im the same as you tabitha!

its horrible isnt it!
you constantly question yourself and wonder why they dont 'like' you

SleepyJess Wed 25-May-05 21:48:53

Tabitha, I used to be how you are describing yourself.. aloways did the running.. but now, due to circumstances really.. I have become much more like your friends!

I'm sure they like you.. otherwise they wouldn't come!

SJ x

paolosgirl Wed 25-May-05 21:55:36

I used to be exactly like that, and used to get so upset that I seemed to be doing all the running after friends, who didn't seem to be particularly bothered if they saw me, or not! Now I work 3 days a week (sometimes more if needed), and like some of the others here, I literally don't have time, what with work, the home and running after the kids.
What I think I'm trying to say is that it may just be that they are already settled in the area, and a bit busy with other things. You sound lovely, so it can't be anything else! Some people are a lot more laid back about friendships - but I bet they would be devastated if they knew how hurt you felt. Are you back at work now? Could you suggest a weekly thing - maybe start a book club, or go to an exercise class or whatever?

tabitha Thu 26-May-05 16:15:09

Thanks everyone for your kind messages
I think maybe that I am being a bit over-sensitive. As you say, if people didn't want to see me they would just say no when I tried to arrange something. I think I'm just a natural organiser (get it from my mum) and while normally I don't mind doing all the running, it does sometimes get me down.

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