Hi ladies
i am a regular poster but i have name changed as this is very personal. I am not even sure if this is the correct place to post.
First of all since i can remember the person who brought me up and who i called dad i never felt any bond with him whatsoever and i always suspected he was not my real father, i confronted my mum several times about this and questioned her and i always got told not to be so stupid etc etc. They ended up divorcing when i was 14 and i didnt really stay in contact with my dad as i never liked him however my brother did.
2 weeks before i turned 18 my mum sat me down and said she had something to tell me, low and behold my dad wasnt my real dad and she told me what my real dads name was. she said she had been scared of telling me the truth. I said i had no desire to try and find him at the time and she told me a very very brief history of what happened. They went to school together and she ended up getting pregnant and his parents wanted them to get married, neither of them felt ready so his parents told her to get rid. My grandparents were fully supportive of her keeping me and obviously she did. They were still in a relationship when i was born and i was told he was dissapointed i wasnt a boy. He used to come round and visit me sometimes but bought silly things for me like dog chocolates and stuff. Then my mum met a new guy who i had assumed was my dad for all these years and they moved away and that was the end of contact with my real dad. My mum has told me he was a waste of space and he has made no effort to contact me.
So now years on from finding out this information i am starting to dream of meeting my real dad and what he looks like etc. I have very little information and i feel i cannot broach the subject with any of my family and if i was to track him down it would have to be something done by me alone with the very little information i have.
I am fully aware that he may have a new family of his own now and they might now be fully aware of his past. the last thing i want to do is turn his life upside down by entering into it out of the blue all these years on.
I feel i just need to see him, what he looks like not even have a relationship with him.
what would you do? has anyone been in this situation? where would you start?
I know his parents live in a little village where my family live so i could not use them as a starting point as it would get straight back to my family.
I have his surname but i dont feel i can just call out of the blue all of these numbers and try and locate him.
Thanks for listening sorry if it has been confusing but im typing quite fast whilst my toddler is sleeping.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Searching for biological father.....
15 replies
fathersearch · 10/08/2009 15:40
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.