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Oh No Not Another Mother-In-Law Question!!

(9 Posts)
weegiemum Sun 09-Aug-09 21:54:21

So we have spent the weekend with MIL who is not the easiest and can be very inconsistent. But it was actually pretty good, she was doing well (and therefore so was I, as I hadn't got cross all weekend!!)

This morning we went to her church. Dh and I stayed behind afterwards to talk to a few of his old friends, and MIL took the kids home to hers. When we got home we discovered she had walked to the corner shop 5 minutes away with our ds(7) and left the girls at her house (9 and 5). When we arrived our daughters were in the house alone with food on the cooker top and in the oven.

It was not even as if (though it would not have made any difference about how wrong I think it is) it was for something essential, it was for icecream.

I'm shock. Dh agrees that it should be him to speak to her about it. We have had no time to do it today as just as we realised what had happened his brother and family arrived and then not long after lunch we had to leave to come home (booked on a ferry).

Am I right to be shocked or am I over-reacting?

DutchOma Sun 09-Aug-09 22:00:05

Did you find out what the girls thought? What were they doing? Did they know Granny had gone to the shop only five minutes away? How sensible are they? Depending on the answers to these questions I think you need to work out how reasonable or otherwise it was to just pop out for icecream while the girls were amusing themselves.

weegiemum Sun 09-Aug-09 22:02:27

They were not bothered but when we got in they were jumping around (dd2 not allowed to jump due to a hip condition).

I wasn't sure if it was even legal?

weegiemum Sun 09-Aug-09 22:10:33

Actually the more I think about it not the crosser I am getting. The cooker was on!

<and breathe>

DutchOma Sun 09-Aug-09 22:13:38

One child can look after another at 13 iirc. It would of course have been better if mil had waited till you were home and had maybe asked your dh to go for the icecream.
Best to let your dh have a word with her before or when you go next and ask her not to leave the children on their own, in view of the fact that your dd2 is very restricted in her movements.

DutchOma Sun 09-Aug-09 22:14:19

Yes, and breathe. Were the girls jumping around in the kitchen?

Horton Sun 09-Aug-09 22:23:07

Er, 13? These children were 9 and 5.

I think this is totally unacceptable. Could she not have waited until you got back?

weegiemum Mon 10-Aug-09 00:56:47

Personally I do think it was unacceptable.

My dd2 is able to jump etc but due to her hip problem she must not if she is to avoid surgery. I never leave her unattended - she's awful for running/jumping/hopping if not watched, as she finds it hard to understand the possible bone problems it can cause.

Whether or not they were jumping in the kitchen, they were left alone in the house with a stovetop ring and the oven on. I sound like my Dad but - an accident waiting to happen???

Dh is going to talk the approach he shoudl take over with his brother tomorrow, and then phone her tomorrow night and talk to her about it - not quite sure how to do it without going in all guns blazing!

NanaNina Mon 10-Aug-09 19:48:01

weeigemum - firstly the legal side of things. In law there is no age when a child can be cared for by another minor (someone under 18)and no offence is committed if a child is left with another minor BUT if an accident occurs when a child is being looked after by another minor the parents can be taken to court for neglect.

It does sound a strange thing to do. Why didn't she take all three children to the shop.Did the girls say they didn't want to go and she just gave in to them.

I would advise your H to ask her about it first rather than "going in with all guns blazing." Could he not have a general conversation with her and bring up that you were both a bit worried about the girls being left alone etc. I think your H needs to make it clear that you were worried but not go over the top and into blamaing mode. I think the important thing is that you don't leave the children with her again.

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