Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

How many times? Honest answers please!

(51 Posts)
Mouette Fri 07-Aug-09 22:49:26

I would love to know how often other couples have sex. Our DS is 4 months old and we manage once a fortnight on average. It's not something people talk about at all... Sometimes I wonder if we should be doing it more... Of course there's no right or wrong... But it would be interesting to know how other couples manage! And what time of the day/which days work best for you? Finding the time is hard! I see couples who have just conceived their second DC and wonder "But when did they find the time?"
So come on, under cover of anonymity... Do tell!

ladylush Fri 07-Aug-09 22:55:33

When things were bad it was once a fortnight, when things are good it is twice a week. Haven't had sex for a while though due to pg complications and now 3 weeks post natal it is the last thing on my mind.

brummiemummie Fri 07-Aug-09 23:01:52

When our triplets were toddlers we only managed about once a month - DH had a job with very long hours & I'd been looking after the kids all day, so we were just too tired sad.

Now they're much older it's probably about three times a week grin.

CurlyhairedAssassin Fri 07-Aug-09 23:02:06

There are loads of threads on this sort of thing if you do a search.

Fortnightly sounds about all I could manage when I had a 4 month old too. Mind you, youngest is now 3, and it hasn't really moved on from there for the most part!!! If DH and I were to go on holiday for a week without the kids it would be a different story - it would be every day probably.

Day after day of domestication and cries of "Mum! I've done a poo - will you come and wipe my bum!" just doesn't put me in the mood somehow. grin

Lulubee Fri 07-Aug-09 23:04:14

About once a week. Usually on a weekend morning when I'm not too knackered and OH doesn't have to get up at stupid o'clock for work! Would love to be able to say more often, but I am usually dead on my feet by the time I get to bed and DH knows better than to try wink

DEMissmiling Fri 07-Aug-09 23:10:18

At 4 months i was still sore. Sex life was a right off due to tiredness.

grin @ curly doesnt put me in mood either.

busybeingmum Fri 07-Aug-09 23:12:15

Message withdrawn

SlartyBartFast Fri 07-Aug-09 23:13:49

we have 3 children.
3 times i estimate


SlartyBartFast Fri 07-Aug-09 23:14:38

why shoudl you be doing it more?

do it as regularly or irregularly as you like.
there is no rule

busybeingmum Fri 07-Aug-09 23:14:43

Message withdrawn

Ronaldinhio Fri 07-Aug-09 23:15:01

twice a week more on hols

CyradisTheSeer Fri 07-Aug-09 23:17:51

Message withdrawn

Tommy Fri 07-Aug-09 23:17:56

I think we went for over a year after DS3 was born.
If we managed once a fortnight even now (2 1/2 years later) DH would think it was Christmas all the time grin

busybeingmum Fri 07-Aug-09 23:19:17

Message withdrawn

Mumcentreplus Fri 07-Aug-09 23:50:45

Depends..sometimes 3 times a week..sometimes 7 or more grin ..longest ever without was probably a week or 2 and thats because of a specific reason...we have afternoon (Nick Jr Sex),evening and morning nooks...I prefer evening I get good sleep afterwards grin

BitOfFun Fri 07-Aug-09 23:54:03

If you search "often" and "sex", I bet you find it is discussed rather a lot on here grin

CurlyhairedAssassin Sat 08-Aug-09 00:22:01

Busybeingmum, I think a good name change for you would be Busyshagging!

And grabbing 10 mins?! 10 mins?!?! After 10 mins I'm only just getting warmed up! grin

CurlyhairedAssassin Sat 08-Aug-09 00:26:02

Dear, oh dear! After reading some of these posts I've come to the conclusion that I must be an uptight prude! There's no way I could not relax enough to enjoy Nick Jr sex, Mumcentreplus - the minute Dora the grating shouty bloody voice came on I would lose all interest. Hmm... Daddy Pig's lovely deep voice might have the opposite effect though. grin

Or maybe I could give ear plugs a try?

CurlyhairedAssassin Sat 08-Aug-09 00:27:05

No way I COULD relax enough, I meant.

ineedalifelaundry Sat 08-Aug-09 00:33:03

I think when DD was 4 months we'd done it about three times post birth, and it still hurt. Doesn't hurt now, and I reckon we average about once a fortnight (DD now 11 months). I'd like it more often but my DH is an evening alcoholic so that time of day is out of the question. We either do it early morning before DD is awake or during her daytime nap at the weekend.

MiniMarmite Sat 08-Aug-09 00:42:31

If we're talking actual proper sex then 3 or 4 times since DS was born 11 months ago.

We'd both like more but I don't find it that comfortable (i.e. painful) and my libido is a rare visitor sad

twigsblankets Sat 08-Aug-09 00:50:19

Not at all when my DD was 4 months old. Mind you, I was not in love with my DP by this time and I didn't fancy him either. sad

I thought my libido had done a runner, until I bumped into the sexiest policeman ever in my town. grin

This is probably not very helpful. sad

It only really becomes a problem if you or your DP want more sex than you are having.

4 months after the birth of yr baby is very soon to be back in the full swing of things IMHO.


Mumcentreplus Sat 08-Aug-09 00:59:09 have to make sure it's not too loud otherwise it can have the opposite affect!..or you can put on a favourite movie you know will keep them works I tells ya!..

Mumcentreplus Sat 08-Aug-09 01:01:33

Think of the policeman i say! grin..believe me it's a stress reliever

thumbwitch Sat 08-Aug-09 01:04:46

at the mo, 7 times a month. All in one week (ttc). It's not fun, although it should be. DS 20mo so that can be a bit of an inhibitor; plus DH goes to sleep about 9pm most nights and wants it earlier, say about 6:30pm (DS's dinnertime). Bit tricky.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: