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is incest neccessarily always bad?... sorry this is sensitive.

(143 Posts)
namechanging2008 Fri 07-Aug-09 20:43:27

been told today that some very close family members are involved in a relationship.

i started off thinking my god this is so wrong, but feel they talked me round.

sorry for namechange, im totally at sea now.

they are very closely related, same age, both consensual, both determined their love will be enough, they know it means they cant have children.

i cant believe it. they want my support.

i dont know what to do.

i want to tell them its ok, but is it?

FabBakerGirlIsBack Fri 07-Aug-09 20:44:10


StinkyFart Fri 07-Aug-09 20:44:26

no it's not okay

ForExample Fri 07-Aug-09 20:45:10

what's their relationship? first cousins? step siblings? half-siblings? siblings?

namechanging2008 Fri 07-Aug-09 20:45:29


thats what i thought initially...

but why? why is it not ok if its not hurting anyone else?

BitOfFun Fri 07-Aug-09 20:45:30

Genetic Sexual Attraction

QOD Fri 07-Aug-09 20:45:48


But if they are cousins, it is legal - any closer than that is a no. So half or full siblings?

namechanging2008 Fri 07-Aug-09 20:45:59

forExample... siblings.

god i cant believe this.

SixtyFootDoll Fri 07-Aug-09 20:46:13

It's illegal?

HecatesTwopenceworth Fri 07-Aug-09 20:46:31

Really depends on the circumstances imo.

Very close family members? cousins? that's ok. other close family relationship might be ok, depends on SO many things - who they are, how it started, how old they are, the exact circumstances etc etc.

I really don't think you can say "No. Wrong." without knowing the full details.

wingandprayer Fri 07-Aug-09 20:46:43

No. But they will both need a lot of help to come to terms with this. Being their friend and ensuring they get that help is probably only way this will end well.

Mintyy Fri 07-Aug-09 20:46:58

What relation are they to each other?

When you say "very closely related, same age" - if you mean exactly same age then they can only be twins or cousins.

I don't think cousins is illegal, is it?

namechanging2008 Fri 07-Aug-09 20:46:59

full siblings but we didnt all grow up together all the time because of various bad family issues.

ClaireDeLoon Fri 07-Aug-09 20:47:23

It really depends on their history, how closely related they are etc surely? I mean if they are cousins that's very different to if they are siblings. And if they didn't grow up together then again that adds a different layer.

HecatesTwopenceworth Fri 07-Aug-09 20:47:34

oh. xpost. siblings. full biological siblings?

well, it is a taboo in our society. did they meet as adults? someone up thread mentioned GSA. is that it?

namechanging2008 Fri 07-Aug-09 20:47:52

thanks hecate.

minty... yes twins.

MaggieBeauVirgo Fri 07-Aug-09 20:47:57

Well if they are cousins, then, well, wouldn't be for me, but it's normal in some cultures. I do think that they're not hurting anybody but I think that they shouldn't have children. Well, I don't know, maybe they should take medical advice on that, if it comes to it.

ForExample Fri 07-Aug-09 20:48:01

it's Not On with caps.

Did they grow up together? I know there is a thing where closely related people who don't grow up together, even between mums and children, meet, knowing the relationship, and are attracted to each other. Is that BoF's link?

ForExample Fri 07-Aug-09 20:49:00

Maggie they are twins.

Jaquelinehyde Fri 07-Aug-09 20:49:04

Can we possibly ask how close is very close.

My initial instincts tell me that no it isn't OK. There is no more I can really say with no other information.

In reality only you know the people involved and only you can judge whether it's OK or not. If you are uncomfortable with it then you must tell them that. Trying to play along will only end in tears.

namechanging2008 Fri 07-Aug-09 20:49:15

dont know what GSA is sorry...

we all led fractured living arrangements... we met up now and then when we were younger, various foster arrangements.

in our 30's.

been going on for a year they say.

ClaireDeLoon Fri 07-Aug-09 20:49:37

No, twins is not on, IMO.

ForExample Fri 07-Aug-09 20:50:33

Have a look at Bit of Fun's link

ClaireDeLoon Fri 07-Aug-09 20:50:56

You said in your OP that it was close family memebers and then you said you didn;t all grow up together - does that mean you are a sibling to these twins?

namechanging2008 Fri 07-Aug-09 20:51:12

close is sexual relationship.

they have accepted they wont have children.

He is planning a vascectomy, sorry prob wrong spelling.

they really, really love each other. they've oboth been in such bad situations before and tthey seem so much better now, together.

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