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How do you deal woth loneliness?

(15 Posts)
PurpleOne Tue 04-Aug-09 02:50:49

I have no family, no partner, no close family.
No best mate anymore either.

It's just me and the DDs.

While filling in a form earlier to do with a next of kin question...I didn't have a clue what to write!

And I'm still alone. No siblings, no great aunt or even a cousin twice removed.

I am alcoholic and recently dx'ed with bipolar. It's any excuse to have a beer right now. Have SS involvement and a drink keyworker too, so accessing help...
I just don't know which way to turn...

All I ever seem to do is sit at my window and watch everybody elses world go by.....and I sit there with nothing....

Christ, I feel so shit.

BitOfFun Tue 04-Aug-09 03:00:02

Don't want this to go unanswered but it's a bit late for me to be coherent- turning in now. Will you post tomorrow? Take care x

PurpleOne Tue 04-Aug-09 03:04:03

Cheers BoF, I will post tomorrow!
I'll be off to bed in a mo too.

Am pissed and in tears yet again. Sick and tired of no one being there for me [sad}

Geocentric Tue 04-Aug-09 03:08:05

I saw your other post, so sorry your life is like this at the moment. I'm really glad you are posting, though. Sometimes it really helps just to write things out. And there are lots of lovely supportive people here on MN...

I don't have any "real" advice, but just wanted you to know the world is full of people you can reach out to, after all, you are doing it right now on the internet!!! That's got to be a positive step, right?

Hang in there, and be kind to yourself. Everyone deserves kindness.

PurpleOne Tue 04-Aug-09 03:19:16

I really don't wanna sound ungreatful Geo, I really dont. But the loveliness and kindness on MN was shown to me last Christmas with the secret santa.MN has always been the fab forum it's always been. Never going to knock MN for that, and the wonderful generosity I've seen over the years.

Sometimes the internet is fab, but at the end of the day..those words on my screen may have been written by real people...but it don't suffice for a hug, nor a friendly shoulder. My phone never rings anymore. And the only 2 male friends I have always keep wanting to get me on the lash and get nekkid too, which fucks me off. They've not been here for ages now and I can't be arsed with them anymore..
None of them are close though. It's just me, the DDs and a cat and 4 bloody insane kittens.

DD2 has had her hair pulled and her head knocked into a door earlier and the locky bit of the door has jabbed DD2 in the eye.....lovely bruising.
Family worker coming tomorrow....

The only place I'm not met with brick walls is MN, but it's not the same as RL is it? Empty bed, no one to make coffee shoulders.


DD1 calls me 'Billy' and sayd that the lonely people have tons of cats - and she's right in a way!
It just hurts.

ClaudiaSchiffer Tue 04-Aug-09 04:00:41

PurpleOne that's such a sad post. I'm so sorry that your life is so difficult and lonely at the moment.

Do you work? Is there any way of meeting friends through work or maybe try volunteering your time somewhere. Sometimes when life is very hard helping someone else can bring some contentment.

Are you religious at all? Personally, I'm not but churches can be very supportive for some.

PurpleOne Tue 04-Aug-09 13:26:09

I had a job and was self employed for 5 years. Lost my last job in April - so lost lots of money and no incentive to get out of bed anymore.
I am religious in a sense - just not conventional one.

Off for a nap now, didn't sleep very well.

babyowl Tue 04-Aug-09 16:56:29

Sorry to hear you're having the blues.

It can be lonely & isolating even WITH people in your life if you don't feel you can talk to them or that they don't "get" where you're coming from. So please don't feel that you are alone.

Have you tried going somewhere/doing something completely different (e.g. walk/run in countryside, hacking away at tough brambles in a garden or with a conservation group if you don't have one)? This is stuff kinda gets you going as well as helps get out your anger/frustrations which you may or may not know you have.

I've also typically found that writing down my worries (on paper, not on web) generally helped me & then I could work out ideas for what to do next. It's a slow & often discouraging process, but it can help.

Hope you feel better soon.

mustrunmore Tue 04-Aug-09 17:01:54

Whereabouts do you live? Are you close to groups and life anr whatever so that you could go out and meet people if you felt up to it? Or are you geographically isolated? Just trying to get an idea of yoursituation. If youre one of the neighbours I never talk to, you should come round for a coffee smile

wheniwishuponastar Tue 04-Aug-09 17:02:38

Have you tried accessing a very cheap counselling service to talk through how to get your life moving in a direction you want. If NHS is no good, counselling/psychotherapy colleges can normally be very good.

Have you looked at the bipolar websites mentioned elsewhere (in 'priory' thread). MDF have support groups you can join.

PurpleOne Tue 04-Aug-09 17:30:42

Mustrun - I live in London.

WIWUAS - I have found a rather fab MDF support group in the local area.

mustrunmore Tue 04-Aug-09 17:31:38

If its North London, come round for a cuppa smile

wheniwishuponastar Tue 04-Aug-09 17:34:54

Ah glad you've got a good MDF group (is it the one off Oxford Street?)

As you are in London, two places i'd recommend for cheap/free counselling are:

the caravan (free/donations) in st james' church garden, piccadilly


ccpe, in maida vale (usually about £25 for a therapist) if you are interested. i think its great.

PurpleOne Tue 04-Aug-09 22:58:31

I'm in NorthEast London Mustrun, whereabouts are you?

wheniwish - I've got an appt with a NHS psych next Tuesday so I think that's also a step closer too, which will help things along.
GP referred me to Sanibel in Woodford, but cos I'm engaging with an alcohol worker Sanibel said I'm not entitled to their help sad

mustrunmore Wed 05-Aug-09 09:27:01

North. Not far from Barnet.

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