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Any advice on how to prepare DP for fatherhood?

(4 Posts)
DeFluffMyFanjo Thu 30-Jul-09 21:23:38

My DP and I are expecting a child in January. I already have a 4yr old (nearly 5) DD by my ExH and DP has brought her up as his own for the last 3 years.

Everyone comments on how good he is with her and she adores him.

I'm nervous though because when my ExH and I had her, even though she was very planned and wanted by both of us, after a few months he said 'I'm not ready to be a husband and father'. We ended up splitting when DD was 18m and he is a horrible father, moved miles away, pays no support, only interested in DD when it suits him etc. Says how much he loves her but it doesnt seem to translate to actions.

Now no one would have suspected that he would turn out like this, he just didnt seem the type at all.

So... my DP is great with DD and has no children of his own, just seems naturally good with them, he also has the patience of a saint with her. BUT, is there anyway of preparing him for the sleepless nights, the exhaustion, the lack of time etc that comes with a new born? Is there any advice from fathers out there that would have made it easier for them?

I suppose Im scared to death that history will repeat itself.

TrinityRhinoIsInDetention Thu 30-Jul-09 21:32:43

love your name

I dont think there is anything that can prepare either mother or father for the reality of the first child imo

I can totally understand why you are scared that history will repeat itself but I'm afraid I thin you're just going to have to be brave and beleive in your dp

I'm sure he will be fab <hugs>

and congratulations smile

TheChilliMooseISNOTFOREATING Thu 30-Jul-09 21:40:15

Get him to read 'From Lad to Dad' and 'You're the Daddy' by Stephen Giles. They are really great books, which are honest and humorous but not overwhelmingly scary. Worked a treat for my DH when we were expecting.

roses12 Tue 04-Aug-09 16:24:54

get him to do more chores now so he's in the habit of it before baby arrives. you will be glad of the practical support. he will know what to do to help, which can be a worry for new dads.

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