Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

About to use Relate's email a counsellor. Help me get this story straight.

(11 Posts)
hanaflower Wed 29-Jul-09 22:59:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hanaflower Wed 29-Jul-09 22:59:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ZZMum Wed 29-Jul-09 23:06:51

622 words!

ZZMum Wed 29-Jul-09 23:09:15

sorry can not think of anything constructive to say..

but I would say it is not clear exactly what you want .. this is about the problems and not your ideal outcomes

HolyGuacamole Wed 29-Jul-09 23:16:15

I don't know much about the whole counselling thing and exactly how it works.....but....could you not do telephone sessions or something? That way the counsellor can ask you things and guide you in a discussion?

I just think it might be quite hard to solve this by email alone?

msled Wed 29-Jul-09 23:17:08

OK, you need to cut the first paragraph - obviously things are bad and you need help otherwise you wouldn't be using Relate.

It is from the heart but rather rambly and repetitive and also I don't really understand things.

When you say you 'stopped having sex' four years ago, why was that? Who stopped? Is this the 'rejection' he is referring to?
Did you both have any joint counselling at all? Has he ever agreed to counselling and had any?
Did your sex life get back on track at all?

Did you reject him? For how long and why? Why did you get married after all those years together? Was your relationship going well at that point? Did you mutually decide to have a baby? DOes he enjoy any aspect of being a father? Do you? What do you mean you do 'twice as much' as other people with a baby? Do you mean you go out a lot? HOw much? Together or separately? Do you think he does a lot of housework? Do you work outside the home?

msled Wed 29-Jul-09 23:17:41

And yes, what would you like to happen?

NotQuiteCockney Thu 30-Jul-09 08:01:28

Email counselling sounds ... well, expensive and unlikely to do much. He is unwilling to get counselling himself, is he willing to go back into couples counselling?

I suspect his issues (with sex, with you) date from his childhood and have little to nothing to do with you.

hanaflower Thu 30-Jul-09 21:10:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MorrisZapp Thu 30-Jul-09 21:23:50

Is this couples counselling or is it just you who is doing this?

It sounds as if you have lots of issues you'd like to address, but that they would need to be addressed together.

Can I ask the why did you get married question again - what is it that you liked/ loved about each other then, and are those qualities still there on either side?

If your DH wrote a similar email, what do you think he'd say?

hanaflower Thu 30-Jul-09 21:29:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: