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whats normal in a relationship

(24 Posts)
flowerbag Tue 28-Jul-09 21:33:25

Just wondering how many arguments most married couples have say per week My dh and I seem to have alot not always huge ones but would have some maybe 4 times per week mainly at the weekend.
Also, how often do couples with 1 or more children have sex per week, we have 2 children and have sex 3 times per week my husband thinks it should be more, I think he's very lucky

Tillyscoutsmum Tue 28-Jul-09 21:35:50

We "bicker" quite a lot - mostly about silly things. We probably have what I would class as proper arguments (i.e. raised voices, feeling a bit upset until they are resolved etc.) about once every couple of weeks.

Sex ?? It varies but I would say 3 times per week is pretty good going.

SixtyFootDoll Tue 28-Jul-09 21:37:21

we bicker every few days
row every few weeks
Do 'it' twice a week?

mamas12 Tue 28-Jul-09 21:39:18

Is this what you are arguing about?

specialmagiclady Tue 28-Jul-09 21:47:22

Bloody hell. 3 times a week? How do you manage it?

Oh, that said, I only see DH 2/3 nights a week - but we probably only do it twice a month. If we see each other 12 nights a month, that averages out about once a fortnight.

Fighting, about the same. Possibly less.

I'd say that what's "normal" in a relationship could vary from 0 ever to every night. As long as both parties are ok with the situation it's fine.

Same with the arguments. If you're sleep deprived, going through a stressful time etc then you'll argue more. And are they a means of communicating or are they a means of hurting each other...

MagNacarta Tue 28-Jul-09 21:49:39

Arguements about once a year, but we are working on trying to do it more. We don't bicker.

Sex, sometimes every night, sometimes not for a couple of weeks, sometimes once a week. DH doesn't care how often, he says he's happy that when we do it's fab. Got to admit I feel the same.

SolidGoldBrass Tue 28-Jul-09 22:12:05

It doesn;t matter very much what other people do (though if you are being abused by a partner it is lifesaving to discover that, no matter what the abuser claims, abuse is NOT normal) if both partners in a relationship are reasonably happy with it.

ABetaDad Tue 28-Jul-09 22:14:56

flowerbag - when we had two very young chilren under 5, both working, under stress, then we bickered and argued more and had less time for each other.

Now DSs are 9 and 7 we are much less stressed and we maybe disagree 1 - 2 times a week with sligtly louder voices and over in a matter of moments. Serious arguements hardly ever happen and cannot rememember the last one. Lets just say I very happy and comfortable with everything else too pretty much in exactly the same way as MagNacarta says about her DH.

mrsboogie Tue 28-Jul-09 23:22:51

three times a week is pretty good going in most people's books but its what is normal for you both that counts, as for rowing - its not really a question here either of what is normal for other people but what is normal for you. Does it feel like you row too much? do you row more than you used to or is it affecting the rest of your daily life?

commeuneimage Wed 29-Jul-09 06:46:13

I think your levels of arguing and of sex are healthy. Isn't it supposed to be good in a relationship to have arguments? My husband and I never argued - and I mean never - in our 20 year marriage. We are divorcing anyway. (My parents never argued either, on the other hand, and were very happily married for 50 years.) Maybe the sex is the key - H and I weren't having any in later years - but you seem to be doing ok wink

lighthouse Wed 29-Jul-09 10:19:21

Its not normal if you don't argue, everyone does. Sex, more recently 2-3 times only because I kicked off that we didn't get enough. Arguments, lots until we decided to get the realtionship back on track.

foofi Wed 29-Jul-09 10:23:09

We argue most days (sometimes a lot) and have sex once a week at most, but it's quality not quantity... wink

MamaLazarou Wed 29-Jul-09 10:59:08

We don't argue at all, and have sex 4 or 5 times a week (am pregnant), but every couple's definition of 'normal' is completely different.

schilke Wed 29-Jul-09 19:41:40

Lighthouse - why is it not normal if you don't argue? Dh and I don't argue - we have never had a row in 15 years. Sometimes have a very slight disagreement, but it's more of a few words. My mil insists you need to argue (she and fil are divorced) - I just don't get it.

As for sex well it varies. Sometimes twice times a week and then sometimes twice a month - dh is out a lot of evenings and I tend to fall asleep on sofa. Have 4 children by the way - problem we have is that ds2 struggles to go to sleep and I can't start sex if i know he's awake!

MamaLazarou Thu 30-Jul-09 17:13:56

of course it's normal. You don't have to row to be happy. What an odd assertion.

RealityIsHavingAPartay Thu 30-Jul-09 17:19:39

Message withdrawn

FabBakerGirlIsBack Thu 30-Jul-09 17:22:33

We have little niggly tiffs about once a month.

Proper arguments - never.

Sex - depends.

ForExample Thu 30-Jul-09 17:26:34

there is no 'normal'

TDiddy Fri 31-Jul-09 00:06:09

recently smaller niggles and no bust ups in say last 6 mths probably because less pressure at work.

Ideal would be 5 times a week but cannot happen with so much on. Feel starved less than twice a week. Much depends on how old DC are right. Difficult with very young family. Mornings if you can wink

hayes Fri 31-Jul-09 00:34:40

sex even more difficult with teenagers in the house sad

BitOfFun Fri 31-Jul-09 00:56:41

It all depends on what you are happy with. I am definitely in the argue very rarely if ever and have sex loads camp. But the main thing is that you feel things are right between the two of you, and if you have to ask, it implies to me that you are worried about it. How do you want it to be?

PS we have two teenagers and a younger one with SN who gets up a lot at night, like a newborn, so it doesn't need to mean a relationship with lots of tension.

mrsjammi Fri 31-Jul-09 01:01:49

Message withdrawn

MamaLazarou Fri 31-Jul-09 08:48:26

Oh yuck!! grin

Mumcentreplus Fri 31-Jul-09 08:56:28 thats nasty grin

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