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Relationships

arguments with the ex

3 replies

vonnieisbonnie · 28/07/2009 19:12

Hi I am new to this site and never really done this before. But I am seething and could do with letting off steam. I was with my ex for 20yrs and we have 2 kids. We split up almost 2 yrs ago (his idea) and normally have an okish friendship for the sake of the children. Last week he told me he has met someone else and that even though he was picking the children up for 2 weeks, he was planning to get friends to have them for a nite or 2 so he could see his new girlfriend. Selfish or wot - these two weeks are supposed to be a chance for them to spend qulaity time together. Today I also found out that he has told the children about his new girlfriend even though he has only just met her and told me he wasn't planning to tell them yet. My eight yr old is very upset and I have had a huge row with him. Not bothered about the girlfriend (she's welcome to him) but am bothered about his selfishness - am I over-reacting?????

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Wigeon · 28/07/2009 21:19

Afraid I don't have any words of wisdom but just wanted to make sure you post was acknowledged, and say welcome to Mumsnet! Hope someone else with some good advice replies soon.

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mayorquimby · 29/07/2009 10:36

do you ever go out and leave the kids with a baby-sitter or over night with relatives when they are in your care?
i understand his time is more limited but it's his decision as a parent.
as is unfortunatekly the issue of introducing new partners. while you may have decided to wait longer, he hasn't. and unfortunately that is completely up to him as it would be your decision as to when you'd introduce a new partner.

i understand it's frustrating as he told you one thing and then did another, and that he's making decisions that you might not make and there's not much you can do about it, but it's an unfortunate reality of being split up and having kids.

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vonnieisbonnie · 05/08/2009 09:33

Thanks for your responses and yes you are probably right about being his decision to tell them. But i still do not think it is acceptable to leave them with other people during his 2 weeks holiday with them. They want to spend time with him and not friends. I never go out and leave them with other people when they are with me. We both have every other weekend to ourselves and that is plenty of time to go out and do my own thing - as it should be for him. It will only be a matter of years before my kids no longer want to hang around with us and off with their mates all the time. Why would he not value this time with them?