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Can I just moan please

(7 Posts)
fairytale Mon 23-May-05 09:47:20

I'm sorry, I just need to moan to someone,, DH and I haven't talked to each other ,apart from essential things about pets or children for a week now, If I make a comment he takes it as me bitching (I probably am a bit), he stopped talking to me,having any eye contact or touching me after I got cross last sunday and said we needed to talk about things.
He's a stubborn bum and when we do talk about our relationship, it always comes down to me not showing enough affection, he thinks i dont love him although i always tell him i do, he can never see my side of things.
I think i might go mad if this continues much longer.

Auntfanny Mon 23-May-05 09:49:34

what happened for you to stop talking to each other to start with??? my dp is a stubbon bum when it comes to talking aboutt hings he just denys any problems we may be having and sulks and refuses to talk about it bloddy men!

fairytale Mon 23-May-05 09:59:47

Our relationship has been up and down for a while now, I had a moan about him not washing, accepting that he goes out and does all the activities he wants to whilst I stay at home with the children without moaning, we don't discipline the children the same way, he thinks I'm a naggy old bag, recently he's taken to saying things like I'm a crap mum (he says in jest, but it hurts).
Basically I think I'm fed up with compromising my values and the children are struggling with having parents who expect different things from them. Now I'm really moaning.It's usually me who breaks the ice when we have an argument but this time I feel like being stubborn too, I don't want us to break up, mostly for the children but I'm really struggling, everything he does now is winding me up !

Auntfanny Mon 23-May-05 10:04:02

Fairytale poor you hun i think the most important thing here is thinking of the children they need to be disiplined in the same way wether that means you lightning up on them or him being a bit tougher, but you need to tell your dh that you need to come up with a solution otgherwise the kids will suffer, i know i would be pissed off if dp always went out and left me and ds so we either go out together or we compromise and have time out by ourselves, but you need to make him see in the long run the kids will be effected not him. im sorry hes being an arse though for you hugs to make you feel slightly better.

fairytale Mon 23-May-05 10:23:59

Thanks Auntfanny,
I've got to work out how to get us talking again first, I'm not at all confident about even having a normal conversation at the moment, but Thankyou for being there and helping.

bamik Mon 23-May-05 13:42:42

Hi FT ((((((BIG HUG))))))

Sorry but what a damn cheek - Crap Mum?????? I don't think so. And as for saying it in jest!!! He knows that it hurts. It seems to me like he is getting on with life, having fun and not really involving you and the kids!

Do you go out together (with/without the children)? He has to realise that he has a family now that need him. His time, affection and everything! Honestly though, as stubborn as he is and as much as you want to strangle him, I think it might be an idea for you to have a SERIOUS talk with him. Tell him exactly how you feel. Him telling you that you're not showing him enough affection etc etc is just him hiding behind the fact that he's being a selfish prat! As long as he's got you feeling bad then it's easy for him and he doesn't have to face the reality that he is actually in the wrong!

Hope that things get better (sorry for calling DH a prat!).

Love, Bami

fairytale Mon 23-May-05 18:56:29

Bamik, that's nothing compared to the things I've been calling him (under my breath) this week !He's had a while to get used to being a Dad, my eldest is 9. I know there are books on how to talk so children will listen, do they do one for dh's ?

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