Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

talking to an internet "date" on the phone for the first time - all went a bit flat :-( please help!

(5 Posts)
LittleRedBook Mon 27-Jul-09 09:36:59

can anyone offer advice please?

met this really nice bloke on internet dating site. swapped a few emails, lots in common, seems promising. I suggest we have a phone call. Chatted for an hour last night but got to the end of the call and it all went a bit flat.

Trouble is I am good at small talk but not at more involved discussion IYSWIM, so we chatted about his job, and we chatted about current affairs and we talked a bit about our interests .... but nothing sparked, we didn't have a laugh and we didn't really get personal (don't mean saucy just didn't scrape the surface), I don't feel I know him any better though I know more about him.

and I think something could spark but I am just no good at flirting on the phone. I wanted to ask him more personal questions but felt that that would be intrusive. So our conversation was a bit dry in the end and rather tailed off into "it would be nice ot speak again, yes, I'll email you, and yes, you have my number..." Feel sad and blush this morning.

So, do I ...

a) wait for him to get in touch
b) call him again
c) let it go
d) email him saying what I've put above

Kind and wise MNers please help! I have put this in Lone Parents too as I feel so rubbish I need all the help I can get.

YanknCock Mon 27-Jul-09 09:49:06

I always think you can't make the judgment about 'sparks' over the phone, it really has to be in person. If you really think there could be something there, suggest meeting up with him for coffee and reserve judgment until then.

I find it hard to have an hour long phone conversation with people I know well, let alone a stranger. Nothing wrong with not getting too personal, it is after all the first time you've spoken to him!

Thandeka Mon 27-Jul-09 10:01:14

I had a very intense relationship via email initially with a man when it came to talking on the phone his voice put me off and it was so much harder to talk to him than expected. Then we met up in person and i fell for him quite hard. It didnt work out in the end but i'm very glad i still met him and ignored the phone oddness.

(my DH is rubbish on the phone I think judging men on phone ability is a bit unfair they are a bit rubbish!)

ninah Mon 27-Jul-09 12:50:11

you talked for an hour? blimey I'd be hard pressed to talk to a bloke on the phone for half that time, esp one I hadn't met!
fwiw I met my bf via internet, emailed and texted for ages, then arranged to meet,he suggested we spoke on phone first and when we did it was quite short, but I liked the sound of his voice and felt reassured about meeting him. Good luck!

LittleRedBook Mon 27-Jul-09 22:48:36

thank you! left it until late, sent him an email and he has just texted. think we are ok. I was clearly anxious and over-analysing. new to this.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now