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Where do you meet a decent honest bloke?!

(26 Posts)
SingleMum01 Sat 25-Jul-09 21:28:24

Hi, I've been divorced for 5 years now, had one relationship since but nothing since. Fed up with clubbing - all the blokes are after one thing. Done some internet dating chatting, but am scared to meet anyone in case they're not who they say they are. Okay I'm not as young and good looking as I used to be, but I reckon I'm still okay. Any advice to get rid of this wall around me?

LynetteScavo Sat 25-Jul-09 21:43:12

Have you tried spped dating?

I haven't but I would if I were single. Imeant - ou know as soon as you meet some one if they are...um...shaggablepartner material, don't you!

cheekysealion Sat 25-Jul-09 22:24:14

i agree if you have the confidence to go then speed dating would be good for you..

cat64 Sat 25-Jul-09 22:39:35

Message withdrawn

critterjitter Sun 26-Jul-09 00:27:29

I dunno, but if you find out can you let me know? grin

hambler Sun 26-Jul-09 00:37:51

serious question.
Why are you looking to meet a man?

LynetteScavo Sun 26-Jul-09 09:19:28

I disagree with cat64 - if you wan't a life partner, you need to do some active looking. You wouldn't hope to find payed emplyment by casually networking, you need to be pro active.

Supercherry Sun 26-Jul-09 09:30:55

I agree with Cat, by pursuing your hobbies and interests you will meet like minded people. Actively looking is a bit desperate really- not meant in a horrible way.

There are exceptions, obviously, but I think bars/clubbing/pubs are possibly the worst place to find a partner.

rumdontbotherreplyingmum Sun 26-Jul-09 09:36:04

I agree with cat as well, you'd be more natural and 'yourself' while doing something you enjoyed, making new friends and having a good time as well...

sunfleurs Sun 26-Jul-09 11:10:16

I have never met anyone when I was "looking", has always just happened even when I was actively "not looking". Met them at work or through friends usually though a few in clubs as well.

Relationships very over rated imvho.

SolidGoldBrass Sun 26-Jul-09 11:16:00

Are you sure you want a partner, or do you just think that you should have one? Couplehood isn;t compulsory and desperate relationship-hunting is a miserable an very ill-advised way to spend one's time ( you will end up with either someone as desperate as yourself, or a cocklodger. Or a predator.)

If you are not very interested in sex, which your post sort of implies ('men are only after one thing filthy beasts') then you would be a lot better off seeking friends via shared hobbies and interests, because it's far better to build yourself a life than wait for some man to provide you with one.

SammyK Sun 26-Jul-09 11:20:08

very wise post SGB

ipiratethief Sun 26-Jul-09 11:23:53

am in almost same positin as you, but havent met anyone in 4 yrs since my divorce.

internet hunting is fun, but tiresome, as lots of nervous types out there, some players.

it's hard to judge till you meet them. much easier in 'real life' as you make a decision in about 2 seconds don't you, if you like them/fancy etc.

I just keep believing it will happen!

LynetteScavo Sun 26-Jul-09 16:46:21

SGB - boozed up men in clubs usually are after one thing though! And not may of them stick around after they've got what they wanted. Not wanting a one night stand and not being interested in sex are 2 idfferent things, aren't they? hmm

SingleMum01 Sun 26-Jul-09 19:56:43

Thanks for all your opinions. I am interested in sex, just don't want one night stands. I'm also protective, as I'm sure we all are, of my son. Of course I'd never introduce him to anyone until way down the line anyway. I'm generally happy on my own, like doing what I like when I like, spending money on what I want etc, but am worried I'm getting to like it too much and like everything just so! I don't want to be an old biddy with a cat (I actually have a dog), but you know what I mean!

SolidGoldBrass Mon 27-Jul-09 00:18:23

SM01 fair enough not to want one night stands. (though it's perfectly possible to have them as a single parent without compromising DC's safety, just arrange overnight babysitter and have away fixtures). And if you like being on your own then that's great - it is perfectly OK to be on your own ie single as long as you have friends.

imbored Mon 27-Jul-09 02:39:31

i'm sorry but their isn't any sad
get yourslef a dog they are more loyalwink

melmog Mon 27-Jul-09 07:05:07

I found mine by stopping looking, deciding I wanted to be single and just enjoying my life. They always turn up when you are least expecing it I find.

Also, if you're happy in your life and it shows you are much more attractive anyway. Does that make sense??

On the other hand, I have two friends who are now married to their internet dating partners!!

LynetteScavo Mon 27-Jul-09 07:35:15

imbored - she already has a dog!

And decent honest blokes are out there. I've had one for the past 12 years. But I was on a mission to find a bloke. blush

chocolatefudgebrownie Mon 27-Jul-09 07:48:16

Me too lynette! I had an idea of the man I wanted and then went looking and luckily found him, now my dh!

whomovedmychocolate Mon 27-Jul-09 07:51:57

I have met a few decent honest blokes at the tax office. Or did you want one who was interesting as well? grin

SingleMum01 Mon 27-Jul-09 20:19:12

interesting please with own hair and teeth a definite bonus! Now I'm beginning to sound picky(!), men my age are receding if I'm lucky and well-rounded!

ridingjoker Mon 27-Jul-09 20:46:48

nothing wrong with being picky. at leas you know what you want. better than being indecisive and dithering grin

maggievirgo Mon 27-Jul-09 20:49:53

I'd say stop caring. I can't believe the hoops some women go through to find somebody new.

I don't know why it's so hard, but it seems to be. Give yourself a break. WHY bother. HOnestly. Think about it.... Are you trying to appear happy to the outside world, or is a man crucial to your happiness?!

I bet you jeopardise a lot looking for a man? self-esteem, patience, hope, time!!

MamaLazarou Tue 28-Jul-09 09:08:50

Mine was playing bass in a friend's band. Have you got any friends with bands?

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