Where can I get a sex drive?

[notgotitinme]

Have used an old mumsnet name of mine here but it seemed appropriate for this topic!

Had 2nd child 4 months ago...am breastfeeding and am nearly 40. I want to have sex and usually we do have sex fairly regularly. Haven't done for about 2 weeks now feels like 2 years. It affects our relationship & I want us to be sexy not just mummy & daddy.

Always knackered of course. Rarely even in the same bed for various reasons!

But I don't seem to have the same physiological response as I used to..is this just breast feeding? You know....the mind is willing but the bod does not respond!

Any advice??

[oopsadaisyangel]

God knows but I'm in the same boat . DS2 7 months and still can't be bothered and he's sleeping through so its not due to lack of sleep!!

If you find were to get a sex drive please point me in the right direction!

[notgotitinme]

I wish I could just get one from amazon!

[Stayingsunnygirl]

If you find out where to get them, can you let me know too - depression, tiredness, weight issues and medication have killed what little sex drive I ever had. Dh gets it once a week now, to keep him happy, but I honestly wish I enjoyed it too.

And I've looked everywhere for it - down the back of the sofa cushions, in the junk drawer in the kitchen, at the back of the airing cupboard, at the bottom of my handbags - the darned thing is nowhere to be found!

[notgotitinme]

stayingsunny - did you check your knicker drawer?
Anyone else know?

[Stayingsunnygirl]

I did - plenty of sturdy M&S knickers, one swimsuit that never suited me, socks I never wear, a lavender bag and three hankerchiefs - but no sex drive. Though if it had been in there, it would have been pleasantly lavender scented - lol!

[whingeomatic]

lol notgotitinme I was going to suggest PC World!!

I'm just re-discovering mine (dd2 is 10mths) after having my Mirena removed...

Now all I need to do is be in the house at the same time as shiftworker dh,

[notgotitinme]

That is the problem! You really have to timetable it! I just want some really spontaneous, rampant & contraceptive free sex with dh!

Do tesco direct do sex drives?

[Backtoblue]

Surely someone on mumsnet has one??

[Stayingsunnygirl]

A good point, Backtoblue - perhaps we could organise some sort of time-share schedule?

Anyhow - if I found mine now, it would be all dusty and cobwebby and hopelessly out of date. For all I know there's been some new method invented and the Government hasn't informed me because I'm a mum to teenagers and therefore, by law, shouldn't even be thinking about sex, let alone doing it!!!

[missylea]

hi whingeomatic, i got the mirena coil fitted and thought my lack of sex drive was due to something else. could it be the mirena as have no sexual urges at all!!! I cant take pill as makes me a bitch from hell. so what is my other options???? I cannot even contemplate the thought of getting pregnant again.

[Rachmumoftwo]

Oh my goodness- does the mirena contribute to a lack of sex drive? That would explain a lot! I watch this thread with interest (and maybe some long-lost anticipation lol). might be time for a contraception rethink!

[whingeomatic]

iirc there are quite a few threads in the archives about mirena side effects, sex drive making a sharp exit being only one!!

All I know is that pre-mirena all was good (well as good as it can be with a new baby), with mirena pretty damn awful and post-mirena things definately better

I switched to a normal copper coil 6wks ago and am prepared to put up with heavier periods if it means a bit of sauciness with dh!!

[Stayingsunnygirl]

Hah - so it's not just the weight, depression, tiredness and citalopram that have blighted what sex drive I had - mirena is also a factor. Frankly, my poor sex drive doesn't have a chance - does it???!

[lisad123]

you are more than welcome to borrow mine, but i can tell you how to make one if you have time

cup of sugar
sleep (7 hours if possible)
babysitter (away from house, so this is where MIL comes in handy)
or if babysitter is not possible a lock on your door.
Protection
towel/tissues
bath/shower
a quick think back to what it used to be like
oh and you might need a man too

sorry silly mood tonight

[commeuneimage]

too easy to blame the Mirena coil, in my view. I have one but I also have a new man and the idea of my libido being dampened by the Mirena is ludicrous. i've never desired anyone so much in my entire life ( and I am seriously old)

[Jacksmama]

If you find mine, please post it to me. It should fit fit nicely into one of those tiny envelopes for thank-you cards.

[notgotitinme]

Lucky you commeuneimage!! That's what I'm looking for - some passion.

Does anyone seriously have a suggestion? Will it return after breastfeeding (tis 2nd child but after ds1 we had the time & opportunity to have sex so it didn't suffer too much)

[whingeomatic]

Ah but Mirena is fine for most people, communeimage it's just that some are affected by the hormone content (known side effect of progesterone is drop in libido)

Prior to dd2 I was also fine with it - this time round not so...

[missylea]

starting new thread on mirena coil. any options and advice welcome. Dont want to hijack someone elses thread.

[Sarasue]

My ds is three and my sex drive is still on the missing list, perhaps it came out with the placenta along with my rythum as I now dance like my dad. Give it time, if your dead set on getting some and thinking about it, sounds like your sex drive is on its way, personally id rather go to sleep or have a cup of tea than have sex but thats another story. Try not to worry.

[Cleanitlikebanksysmaid]

I must confess....I think I found mine this week....it was hiding in this book.

[notgotitinme]

Oh - I have that book actually. Perhaps I'll read it with dp!

[Cleanitlikebanksysmaid]

I've downloaded a copy to my e-reader on my ipod touch....so I can sneak a peek in secret, gets me quite hot under the collar . I think DH will be getting a bit (or alot)tonight

[missylea]

hi cleanitlikebanksymaid can you tell me how you do that? I have ipod classic can i do the same?

[Cleanitlikebanksysmaid]

Sadly I don't think it would work on an ipod classic, but you can still download and read on a laptop. Are you familar with torrents?