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why when I'm with my family (well mum and sister) do I feel irritable and exasperated? I can't put my finger on it but want to feel positive abou them again....

(6 Posts)
minxofmancunia Thu 23-Jul-09 09:41:33

I've posted about little sister on here before, don't know why I feel so pissed off when they're near me. I do have issues with my Mum dating way back but am trying to be adult about it and focus on the good points.

Maybe it's because they're overflowing with offers of "help" but on the rare occassions I've asked I get told they're "frantically busy". Then get accused of never seeing them (mum) and not asking enough!

Have mentioned my sisters scavenger ways ebfore. She turned up at ours last night, shot straight into the kitchen made herself some toast and despite dh offering to sort out tea in half an hour or so, said she was 2 hungry to wait and asked if she could have hers straight away, IMO that's rude but maybe that's just me. Asked why she always turns up at ours so ravenous and was told she doesn't eat all day when she knows she's coming round to ours as she knows we always have loads of nice food in!! She is coming to babysit though so sort of feel it's fair enough as v lucky to have free babysitter.

Mum similar for weeks now, "when can we see M (dd) again, when are you coming down darling? We really miss you" etc etc. Arranged weeks go to go down next weekend and guess what "we're just SO busy that weekened darling, it's been in the diary for WEEKS, just can't cancel it" FINE, just don't accuse me of never bothering then!!!

Maybe it's just me being pg and irritable, Dad doesn't annoy me like this but is v v under Mums thumb.

Positive thoughts.....

AnyFucker Thu 23-Jul-09 10:37:40

I find my own family intensely irritating too

I literally bristle sometimes and find myself being snappy for no reason at all

I have no idea why, I just put it down to "familiarity breeds contempt" or somesuch but it is a very strong feeling I get only with them

shhhh Thu 23-Jul-09 21:52:03

Im the same anyfucker. No idea why as well..

My il's grate on me for reasons from years ago and I have never had closure and my own parents grate on me because.....well coz they are my parents grin.

Im seeing a therapist again as I felt all the "family issues" were getting ontop of me again and I got a good bit of advice:

the most important people in your life is your nuclear family (dh/dp & the dk's). Dh often says this and I always feel a bit hmm and "BUT they are your parents etc" BUT from the therapist I can see it..she is right. I needed my family and dh needed his when we were kids BUT now we are adults and have our own dk's you kind of drift away.

I don't see it now in such a bad way. Just that I now have lo's who need me now...

also,my views of my parents and il's are different now I have kids.

But, yes I can empathise totally with you. Mine literally (both sets..)have to look through the front door window hmm for me to want to shout through the letter box "feck off, we have moved" blush

AnyFucker Thu 23-Jul-09 22:39:23

oh yes, just to do a moonlight flit away from the annoying buggers.....

I feel a bit bad actually, because there are people who have lost their parents and would do anything for one more day with them

I am a selfish cow, I think blush

FairyLightsForever Thu 23-Jul-09 22:58:20

My mother is here visiting for the week. I know EXACTLY where you're coming from... Roll on Saturday!

shhhh Sat 25-Jul-09 20:19:10

anyfucker,you are not selfish. I agree, there are others who don't have parents or il's and I so hate it when thread such as this are started and such people come along saying just that..makes people feel bad when infact they shouldn't...

we all have our own issues and concerns and ones that someone else may think..hmm to.. You can't be made to feel bad because of others unhappiness iykiwm.

We are not saying we don't want parents or il's..just less contact wink.

fairylights....its now sat grin

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