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anyone managed to get back together with ex-H?

(9 Posts)
dazedandconfused Thu 23-Jul-09 08:14:45

it would be good to hear any success stories!

pud1 Thu 23-Jul-09 08:22:17

i did after a split of 9 months after he had an affair. that was 5 years ago and we no have a 17 month old dd and one due in 3 weeks. cant say that the trust issue was easy at first and it took alot of working out but looking back i would say that i am glad it happened. it has made us stronger to totally split up. feel like we have made a choice to be together rather than just plod on through the bad times

monkeytrousers Thu 23-Jul-09 08:38:33

Sort of. We aren't there yet. We spilt up for two years - but he only moved out a few times then would just end up back in the loft conversion, which was very hard as we couldn't stand each other for a lot of that time, but it was either that or DS didn't see his dad.

He got very ill at the beginning of this year and found out he had been ill for a long time which had been affecting his moods , making him very grumpy and difficult to live with.

Once this was sorted out other problems remained however, but he is starting to deal with them.

I care for him very much, but whether we become a proper couple again - we're still in the intermediate stage at the mo, not fighting, but there are still some niggling doubts that I need to sort out - remains to be seen.

l39 Thu 23-Jul-09 09:11:58

Yes, over 10 years ago and it worked - our relationship has never again deteriorated as it had in the year or so before we split up. I was sure we were totally finished at the time - and I'm glad of that, as being in limbo would have been agonising. I actually laughed at my husband when he started trying to win me back, but he really had changed and after a few months, he had me convinced. There was no infidelity involved - I don't think I would have ever tried again if there was.

FAQtothefuture Thu 23-Jul-09 09:21:33

yes me - although still early days of the being back together again.

Split up last March after a couple of rocky years.

Moved back in together end of June (though spent every day together since end of April).

Obviously early days but our relationship is SO much better than it was before we split. In fact it's probably better now than it was when we first got married grin.

LackaDAISYcal Thu 23-Jul-09 09:21:57

Not my DH, but my fiance decided out of the blue (we were just about to start looking at wedding venues) that he didn't want to get married and wanted a clean break. I found out I was pregnant a week later. He was less than happy about it <understatement>, we had no contact until I was about 6mo pregnant, and he had started to come round to the idea that he was going to be a dad and he was there for the birth.

He had regular contact with our DS and would come and visit every month (he lived 250 miles away) then every three weeks, then every two...we went on a "family" holiday when DS was 2 and during that week we both realised that there was still a spark between us. We got married 6 months later and four years later have another 2 DC and couldn't be happier (well maybe if we got more sleep and weren't skint all the time wink)

LackaDAISYcal Thu 23-Jul-09 09:22:57

FAQ, that's great news about you and your DH smile

FAQtothefuture Thu 23-Jul-09 09:23:10

oh - and that is the extremely abbreviated version of events grin.

dazedandconfused Thu 23-Jul-09 09:52:51

Thanks for the experiences - it's helpful to know it can be done. FAQ, what has made your relationship better. Have people found counselling useful? Was it 'hard work'?

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