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help me make that final push

(12 Posts)
anothermum92 Wed 22-Jul-09 20:41:49

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mrsboogie Wed 22-Jul-09 21:57:49

You are already divorced though aren't you? I don't mean the bit of paper, I mean he is gone, the relationship is over, you are moving on, the kids have adjusted. What's left to save? what's the point? who would benefit? not you for sure, the kids might be pleased to see you back together but, with an untrustworthy liar like him, how long for?

You never mentioned being still in love, neither did he? or wanting to be with him for the rest of your life.

It's over, you have done well to get yourself sorted - don't throw it all away now- you have come too far. Happiness is waiting for you!!

thesouthsbelle Wed 22-Jul-09 22:05:47

agreed, tbh i'd do the divorce, and then possibly think after if you are so inclinded to date him again, and so on then start everything from scratch.

to go back to how you were previously thou I think would be too hard for you.

junglist1 Wed 22-Jul-09 22:11:02

Well done and congratulations on your new life! You know what, that isn't the first time a woman has expressed guilt for the break up of a partnership, we are supposed to take crap after crap after crap while still hoping it'll all be OK. Bollocks to that! You'll cope alright, of course it's hard being a single parent but you'll come through. And when you do meet someone you'll choose more carefully saving yourself more heartbreak in future.

LittleMissMummy Wed 22-Jul-09 22:25:02

anothermum92 - you have nothing to feel guilty about, your exH broke up your family as soon as he started seeing another woman. He not only broke up your family but he broke a vow and therefore failed in your marriage.

You have done really well to get a new life sorted for you and your DC and its great that your starting to get a bit of a social life.

If he had perhaps had a one night stand and then straight away said that it was a huge mistake and it would never ever happen again then I could understand giving him another chance (never been in that situation myself so not sure what I would do but hope I never have to make the decision) but he actually left twice saying that he was in love with this other woman. Even if it was mid-life crisis, thats no excuse.

Perhaps she left him and he is now trying to get back with you as he does not have anyone else ? Well if thats the case, its not your problem. I really think you should just continue with the life you have made for you and DC, you never know you might meet someone else who will treat you with the respect you deserve.

debs05 Wed 22-Jul-09 22:50:24

Going back may seem easier than whats ahead because its unknown, but thats what's exciting, your new life is right around the corner if you give it a chance, I dont like the fact that men can come and go and make all the decisions. He made his choice, you need to move on however scary it is and look for happiness. Thats what you deserve. he had his chance and blew it, now its your chance, take the bull by the horns and embrace your new future. I wish you luck.

anothermum92 Wed 22-Jul-09 22:53:53

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anothermum92 Wed 22-Jul-09 23:05:58

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anothermum92 Wed 22-Jul-09 23:06:50

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thesouthsbelle Thu 23-Jul-09 07:50:56

you're responsible for yourself and your children. any think he does to make oyu feel you're responsible for him or his wellbeing etc is quite frankly manipulative.

HappyWoman Thu 23-Jul-09 08:11:59

just to give you the other side - is there such a rush to get the paperwork done for you? It sounds as if it would be better for him to get it sorted actaully. You are a sahm and it may be better to stay 'married' for a bit longer - only you can know that though. Could you not point out all this to him - that it will be best for him too?

If you have all the paperwork signed why not give it to a close friend for safe-keeping until you are really ready to do it. Is there really a rush right now?

Good luck though you are doing really well and have nothing to feel guilty about.

anothermum92 Thu 23-Jul-09 08:42:29

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