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Are there any decent men out there ?????

(14 Posts)
ilikeshoes Wed 22-Jul-09 20:12:23

Try too keep this short, father off my ds cheated on me we broke up about 3 years ago, i met someone else who i thought i had a real future with, 3 months ago we talked of marriage and babies, 2 weeks ago he left has'nt come back i've found out he has lied to me about lots of things, i feel really hurt for my ds who adored him, i need my faith restored because i do not no how i will ever trust another man, but do not want to end up on my own.

squilly Wed 22-Jul-09 20:19:17

My DH was 23 when I met him and on paper looked a bit of a loser (lived at home with his mum, never had a girlfriend) BUT he was an absolute star. I fell for him big time and have been rewarded by nearly 20 years of loving!

He's kind, compassionate, a bit aggravating at times, but generally loving and considerate. He has been the love of my life and I'm hoping that he remains that way.

We haven't had a charmed life. Had 3 mcs together before dd came along and when dd was little it was tough, BUT he's a good man.

A good friend of mine met a man who was very similar to him in some ways. She met him when she was going through a really crappy patch with her then partner and she had two kids. She has since gotten together with him, had two kids with him and is due to marry him later this year. He's a complete sweetie too.

Be assured...they are out there. The right one just hasn't reached you yet, but keep looking and trusting and he will

Good luck!

ilikeshoes Wed 22-Jul-09 20:20:32

Thankyou squilly thats a really nice story. glad your happy.x

ilovetrees Wed 22-Jul-09 20:41:29

Hi, trust only ever comes with time spent with someone and you don't really know do you until it goes wrong. All i can say is that after my DH left me for someone else i felt the same but now i'm very happy in a new relationship and i haven't looked back. There are good ones out there !! Just take your time for your ds and you to adjust and you will find your man. Good luck !

HolyGuacamole Thu 23-Jul-09 00:19:50

There are LOADS of lovely men out there, trust me! When you've been burned a couple of times, you tend to hold right back with future relationships and this repels the idiots because they can't be bothered making the effort to get thru your barriers. This is a good thing smile

It is such a shame that the eejits give the good guys a bad name.

skihorse Thu 23-Jul-09 15:20:58

There are lots of good men out there - but here's why I disagree with HolyGuacamole - I was reserved for years - and I attracted men who were not interested in getting to know me - and so were more than happy for me to hide my feelings. I learned to open up, be honest and voice my feelings - and suddenly I was falling over good men. IMO the idiots will back right off and of course if they're unable to open up to you...

PersonalClown Thu 23-Jul-09 15:35:25

Have to say I'm with skihorse.
Years of being 'strong' 'independant' etc left me raising Ds alone and thinking of giving up on finding someone.
I get chatting to a bloke on FB of all places shock, nothing flirty, just a general bitch on how it sucks to be single sometimes...
A year later, he is my lovely DP and the one thing he love more than anything about me is the open, honest way I say anything. He knows it is all truth so if anything is wrong, we can work on it and fix it.

skihorse Thu 23-Jul-09 15:41:21

PersonalClown I too met my OH on the internet and my opening line was "You'll never get a bird now you mong" in response to his tale of getting his teeth knocked out at rugby. blush

Totally agree about the truth and honesty thing - we're none of us babies, we can handle anything if served straight up!

sunfleurs Thu 23-Jul-09 18:26:30

In short, No. They are all taken and even then I wouldn't trust them as far as I could throw them wink.

TDiddyIsaMan Thu 23-Jul-09 18:41:28

can't offer any defence for man kind. But I agree that it is better to lean towards expressing your personality. That way potential partners know what they are getting so you cut out some of the cramp and enter relationship more on level terms.

But some men and women like an element of teasing/suspense...not to be taken too far though.

Think of all the women who are saddled with men who are causing them have your freedom and the expectation, and excitement of meeting a new person....What I am saying is that there is a positive to all the negatives. However, give yourself a little time to recover from the recent misfortune and come back stronger. Bets wishes

southeastastra Thu 23-Jul-09 18:43:42

yes my sons are lovely. grin

southeastastra Thu 23-Jul-09 18:44:09

oh my dad is free too though he's nearly 80

bandit1970 Fri 24-Jul-09 12:06:06

YES MEN ARE BAD ..... i agree to a point
but lets face it so are some WOMAN ........

1) it takes two to break a relationship.
2) it takes two to keep a relationship
3) it takes two to work at a relationship
4) we always have respect for each other

if you dont have the above 4 i dont think any relationship will work.

i am married and yes we have our ups and downs but we talk to each other and not at each other, we talk straight to each other so there is no miss understanding, there is compramise from both sides and not from one, honesty, sharing and doing the finances together so we both understand how, what, where the money's is spend ect.....,
in all we both put into the relationship and it is not onesided, thats why its working

ilikeshoes Fri 24-Jul-09 22:02:37

Bandit dont agree it takes two to break a relationship, i didnt cheat he did, and i didnt make him lie he just did! believe me i tried very hard to make relationship work, perhaps too hard.I tried to talk to him he would'nt listen.

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