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Opinions please!!: am I being a drama queen???

(7 Posts)
foxd Sat 21-May-05 14:15:15

Opinions wanted had a blazing row with hubby the other day and I'm still stewing over it. Of course he thinks Im being a drama queen(grrrrr) and thinks everything is hunky dory.

Bare with me while I try to explain without babbling.
We are currently trying to remortgage to pay off some debt weve accumulated since he left the navy and took a lower paid job and I became a student so no income coming in from me, initially.
Because our income has dropped were having to take out a specialised mortgage and fortunately for us there is loads of equity in the house. We have a mortgage in principal but theres no guarantee.
I've began work at an agency but only had had 1 shift in 2 wks so have really worried that this would affect remortgage. My dad has volunteererd his babysitting services so I could let the agency no there were more days that I could work.
So this thursday just gone I got a call from agency asking me to work that evening. I phoned dad he said he could mind kids and I was over the moon.
The problem - on the friday morning we were having a valuation, again we were worried that the house wasnt going to be worth enough as thats one reason mortgage lender is interested. I had said I would spend the thursday going through the house to dh making sure it was spot on. I'm a student and although I'm no slob, the housework has been last thing onmy mind. As soon as I told him about the said shift he flipped. telling me that i'd changed plans and generally going on as if id let him down because the priority to him should of been sorting out the house (the house by the way was tidy at the time). We got into this blazing row I got so upset that I gave in and canceled the shift. I have been fortunate that the agency rang me the next day and booked me for two days work.
I hope you haven't been bored to rears reading this but I'm fed up and wanted to get it off my chest. This is not the first time hes blown up, instead of talking to me and saying he disagrees with what I'm doing he satrts with the digs and then the full works anything he can throw at me (not literally hes never layed a finger on me)..
Am I being a drama queen for still feeling unnerved and upset??

colditz Sat 21-May-05 14:17:50

Tell him if he wants the house sorting that badly, do it himself. Why the hell is his job more important than yours?!

assumedname Sat 21-May-05 14:18:53

I think he sounds stressed and wrongly took it out on you.

foxd Sat 21-May-05 14:40:11

Believe me I told him if he was that desperate to for the house to be immaculate, he shouldeither take the day off himself and clean it or get on the phone for a cleaner, especially since his name was on the remortgage too . He had no replys. Like I said I just got so upset, if I had had an affair or had ran the credit crds up or spent loads of money then fine, which I told also told him. It just shook me a bit. Im not an unreasonable person if hed talked to me I may of understood I may not of canceled the shift but I would of been suportive.
Its not the first time, thats what upsets me more. A few days before he had had a go at me because the form wasn't filled in and he went on and on. I did tell him then his name was on the mortgage too. he just seemed really p*** that the previous week I had been working flat out on two assignments that needed to be in on the following minday.

I wonder too whether he was stressed and taking it out on me but that would mean he tkes out all his stress on me, which is alot.
I wondered if it was because my studying but I not at the computer or lib all the time I take timeout to do things with kids and invite him but he never comes. When we go out together he'll sit there and won't talk to me much. its like pulling teeth. I wondered if it was the navy whether he resented me for asking him to come out but when I've asked he always says hes so relieved hes not livingout a suitcase anymore and not having to go places at a moments notice.
I don't know, I'm scared that it might actually be over. We've been in mariage counselling twice before the last time a year ago and he says everythig is good and theres no problems. But he can't hack stress not the teeniest bit which puts an awful amount of pressure on my shoulders to deal with everything. I only do it if it affects the kids or me aswell I refuse to sort out all his s** aswell.
I feel a little better for getting all that off my chest but still unnerved, am I overreacting has anybody any advice??

notime Sat 21-May-05 14:59:09

teeavee Sat 21-May-05 15:16:33

before breastfeeding, I had 34B perkies
Now, I have a pair of fried eggs

LGJ Sat 21-May-05 16:40:28


before breastfeeding, I had 34B perkies
Now, I have a pair of fried eggs

Wrong thread methinks

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