I love my son more than anything else in this world. We had a fab relationship. He was my little buddy - well behaved and loving, we were really close.
Then I got pregnant again.
I had morning sickness again and now have low blood pressure. I've been really tired and seem to have a constant headache, not to mention the dizzy spells and nausea...
It's turning me into a monster.
I've always tried to be gentle with DS. I was an abused child and I hate the thought of making him scared of me by shouting at him and have never wanted to smack him but just recently, shouting seems to be all I am doing. He's 2.4 and a proper toddler but it's never mattered before, I could always cope. Some days I find myself staring at the TV or computer while he plays alone on the floor cause I'm too zombie-fied to interact, even after an early night - This is not what I wanted for him.
I still take him to toddler groups and swimming but I feel like there is this huge wedge between us.
I shouted at him today. He's decided in the last week to stop napping and I am not coping. I took him upstaris and read him a story while he had his milk then put him to bedbut when I left he kept opening the door -so I screamed at him to go back to bed and left him on his bed crying till he fell asleep
When it came time for him to wake up, I went and sat next to his bed so I could give him a cuddle and say sorry but he looked at me and kicked me in the head!
I don't blame him, I'm horrid. I would want to kick me if I was him!!
I know it's because I'm tired but this isn't going to pass for ages is it. I'm only 17 weeks pregnant. I've got 23 weeks left and then we're going to have a newborn and I will be even more tired and by the time we get out the other end, my relationship with DS is going to be utterly irretrievable.
I'm disgusted at myself for being so horrid and heartbroken at the effect this is all having on DS. What do I do? I wanted him to have a sibling so they couild be close but all I've done is isolated him. I wanted the perfect 2.4 family but I've ruined it all.
Why am I such a terrible parent?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Scared that DC2 is ruining my relationship with DS
GoldenSnitch · 20/07/2009 16:24
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