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my dh went to london and all I got was this lousy pile of dirty washing!

(3 Posts)
thesockmonsterofdoom Mon 20-Jul-09 14:21:03

tell me if I am being to demanding, dh and I jeep falling out lately about the fact that I feel like I am worth nothing in this house, he still makes no effort, I am always buying him stuff when I am out and about, just something I see and thin k of him. Now I am not materialistic, b ut he went to london for the weekend, I know he has had hours walking round on his own, he knows how undervalued I am feeling, I organised Childcare while I am working, booked his train tickets and even went to pick him up from the station. I just thought he might have brought me something, a bath bomb, some lip gloss, anything to to show that he occasionally thinks of me.
Also I texted him at 6.30pm friday, he replied at Lunch time on Sat.
I am having such a crisis about our marriage at the moment and he doesnt even seem to have noticed, despite the fact that I have told him several times.
So am I expecting to much, I feel so miserable. I spent the weekend soul searching and had come to the conclusion that I was going to try really hard to sort it out, I dont know if I can even be bvothered any more.

HolyGuacamole Mon 20-Jul-09 14:39:18

I don't know if this is relevant but sometimes when a partners attention decreases, the other partner seeks more and more to the point of becoming emotionally demanding (sorry, for want of a better term). It's a cyclical thing, the more attention that is sought, the more the other person shuts off and becomes distant.

Like I say, I don't know if that is applicable to you.

Was he ever affectionate or romantic? His idea of showing his feelings may be different from you? Maybe he is taking you for granted and becoming a bit complacent? Is there any chance he could be seeing someone else?

If I were you, I'd take some distance. Concentrate on yourself, get a hobby, fill your time with things that put a smile on your face. Maybe if he sees you getting on with things and not putting all your attention on him he might get a jolt. Stop buying him little gifts, buy for yourself instead, don't run after him - instead, turn your attention to yourself.

thesockmonsterofdoom Mon 20-Jul-09 14:50:33

He used to be really romantic, tbh I am not going to beg for his attention, recently I having been spending more time with friends and generally out, He says I am the most important thing in his life etc, but his actions do not show it. I dont think he would be seeing someone else. Every time I have more fun witghout him it is putting another nail in the coffin and he doesnt even realise. UI have had a great weekend with the dc and it made me realise I could do it on my own.

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