Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

How friendly are you with people that live in your road/street/cul de sac?

(11 Posts)
fufflebum Mon 20-Jul-09 10:46:41

I live on a new housing estate within which is the cul de sac where our house is. Over recent years I am hearing more and more information about the people that also live on our estate.

This is all new to me as previously I worked full time and did not really spend much time at home as such so was never privvy to all the comings and goings of people where I lived!

However, I am now a SAHM and having two kids when we go for a walk I am chatting more to neighbours and so forth and I seem to be being confided in with info about other people where we live. So much so I am now wishing I could be anonymous (which is obviously not a real possibility!!!) and some of the stuff (if it is true) is not very nice! But maybe it is just gossip.

It is not helped as we have to contribute to the maintenance of a shared green space and play area.

How well do you know your neighbours? Any tips for keeping things harmonious?

greeneyedg1rl Mon 20-Jul-09 18:43:24

I can empathise with wanting to stay out of the way. I'm back at work now and have recently moved house, so have got my anonymity back! I, personally, tried hard not to get too closely involved with my neighbours. I also kept my distance at the mother and baby/toddler groups, just as I try hard not to get too involved with the "playground mafia" now that my child is at school. I tell you, sometimes it's like being back at school myself and being the last to be picked for the netball team.

Specifically about neighbours... I didn't know my previous neighbours very well. I got to know them better when I was at home more during the day, but did my best to keep contact minimal and neutral. I've been less successful at keeping the playground mafia at bay - I might be happy being "unpopular", but my child is less evolved! grin

Friends of mine seem to have their neighbours traipsing in and out of their houses all the time. They claim to be ok with it, but it always, always, always inevitably leads to arguements and fallings out - someone round too often, getting caught in the middle of something, someone getting your back up once too often. My advice, for what it's worth, is be friendly, don't invite people round but meet up at the park or something and above all keep your distance from anyone who looks like a stirrer.


branflake81 Mon 20-Jul-09 18:46:48

Everyone works full time and is out for most of the day so no one really knows anyone else. It's quite sad really.

Tortington Mon 20-Jul-09 18:49:21

on an estate - don't get overly friendly with any one - sure make a good friend - or two - but not the three of you together - thats called a bitch triangle - one walks out the room the other two bitch.

i live on a stret with old dodderers. they are all very nice and wave and talk on the way to the shops

Mamazon Mon 20-Jul-09 18:52:52

My new street is totally pedestrianised so all the children play out front together and so everyones door is always open and more often than not at least one mum is sat out on the front step keeping an eye out.
Im new but everyone seems to get on really well and im loving living here (especially tonight as both my two are two doors down at a birthday party, they went at 4 and she said she'll throw them out at half 7!)

Top tip is to listen, never repeat and only divulge stuff you don't mind the rest of the estate to hear

notevenamousie Mon 20-Jul-09 18:59:31

We live in flats - so kind of miss this - and dd (2) plays with the girl (5) next door. It's really great to see them together, and we have a couple of other families/children we sometimes see. I havea chidless friend who sometimes pops in for a drink. Maybe we are just lucky with the people - incidentally all of the families we spend time with from our flats are not British born - I don't know if that makes a difference, it's a slightly different but great experience for dd.

wrinklytum Mon 20-Jul-09 19:09:21

I ive on a very long street with a main road so young kids don't usually play out much,but am in semi and share driveway with neighbours who have a toddler and baby so ours play together.Am on nodding terms with woman opposite who has a 1 yo and am still trying to pluck up courage to invite her over (She always looks immaculate and i usually look like a bag of spanners so I feel a bit inadequate)

.also onquite friendly terms with other neighbour,middle aged guy whose wife died and has waster son in 20's.

I am als friendly with old lady next door but one who is in eighties and a bit doddery but sharp as a tack.

also next door but 2 friendly old couple who have lovely garden and shed full of prize cacti that he let ds go to look at one time,much to ds joy.

Oh and next door but 3 is nice old guy who occasionally offloads any surplus courgettes from his garden on me and always waves at dd when we go by,she tottering on her splints and she always waves back.

lovely really,but then I am up North wink

Notalone Mon 20-Jul-09 19:22:45

I live in a v small cul de sac of 7 houses. Before I moved here I was very lonely and didn't know many people as I am not originally from here. My neighbours are all lovely but not intrusive. Myself and the other women often go out for something to eat, to the pub or just to each others houses for BBQ's or film nights. However we also respect each others privacy and my neighbour and I rarely chat when we are in our gardens - we recognise that our gardens are private and that we should be able to sit out there without having to indulge in innane chit chat. I have gone from hating where I live with a passion to actually quite liking it and a lot of this is down to my lovely neighbours smile

Notalone Mon 20-Jul-09 19:26:55

Sorry - didn't mean to press post then! My tip for you is to remain friendly but also to have some sort of distance too. My neighbours and I chat loads when we go out but never about our sex lives or anything similarly personal. We do however talk about "naked man" - the single "mature" guy who also lives in our cul de sac who likes to stand in his window with no clothes on and the lights on hmm Try to avoid becoming embroiled in gossip if you can and you should be fine

fufflebum Mon 20-Jul-09 19:42:44

I have been told so many things in the last few days about neighbours (and associated 'disputes') that I guess it has made me nervous. I am very friendly with immediate neighbours, who incidentally are an older couple and I suppose we have shared 'interesting' facts about people where we live. Otherwise I have shared my opinions, if asked, and that is about it!

I suppose as I seem to be seeing more and more of neighbours because people are generally more out and about in Summer the more you have got to know them and although it is nice in one way, I also like the anonymity as I am aware that people can get upset about the smallest things!

Because there seems to be a sociable bbq set and individuals who seem to 'keep themselves to themselves' all of whom I speak with I am worried I will be seen to take sides. Just trying to keep it friendly but not TOO personal.

rocketupbum Mon 20-Jul-09 19:49:08

We live in small cul de sac, with lots of young kids. We had street party yesterday that went on til 11pm! I think living in terrace houses means you have to be a bit friendly otherwise you look like a miseryguts.
We do have quite high fences around our garden (not put up by us!) and I quite like that for a bit of privacy.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now