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I've had a lightbulb moment!

(6 Posts)
Thequeensfool Mon 20-Jul-09 09:34:50

I have been in love with someone who has narcisssistic personality disorder all this time!

Having seen it mentioned on another thread I decided to look it up. I am not in a relationship with this person but they have been a big feature in my life/head for many many years.

His pattern of behaviour with me, and from what I can tell in his relationships with other women, seems to fit so well with this description. Having known (and adored) him for such a long time I knew that some of the 'cockish' behaviour wasn't 'normal' and that there is more behind it.

The vulnerability, bizarre over-inflation/bravado, sexual overplay; the way his expectations of women seem to be almost as if they should be this faultless goddess like creature - it all fits. Sounds charming doesn't he? grin

Oh I don't know, maybe the term is just another way of describing a complete arse-hole...

No need to reply, just wanted to express it.

gettingagrip Mon 20-Jul-09 09:46:20

LOL! Good for you! Whether he is a complete arse-hole or he is a narc you are well shut of him!

Any kind of relationship with a narc....well that way lies madness.....yours!

xxxx

Thequeensfool Mon 20-Jul-09 10:45:20

Thanks! Don't think I'll ever be mentally rid of him but I'm working on it. He is not good for my health in any way.

MadameOvary Mon 20-Jul-09 10:52:09

"The vulnerability, bizarre over-inflation/bravado, sexual overplay; the way his expectations of women seem to be almost as if they should be this faultless goddess like creature - it all fits. Sounds charming doesn't he?"

ooh I didnt know you knew my ex! grin

randomtask Mon 20-Jul-09 10:53:37

I had this light bulb moment with my 'ex' (colleague who either hated me or wanted to sleep with me and get emotional, then got scared, then nasty). We got together after a few years and then he acted like more of a tit. I got fed up, decided enough was enough and sent him a text (3 months after he'd left the company and 1 month after I'd last seen him) wishing him a nice life and that I hoped he sorted his issues. A week later, DH asked me out and I decided to give him a try. We were engaged within 9 months, married within 18 months. The moral of the story is, leave the twerp behind (which it seems you're doing) and get on with your life. You don't know what's around the corner..... (Incidentally, I recently saw my ex in the distance and was just relieved I left him behind and also happy I couldn't work out what I'd seen in him)

Thequeensfool Mon 20-Jul-09 11:02:18

It's a complicated situation (I am married, but not having an affair).

I suppose the time has passed where I am able to be a friend to him any more and now I need to look after myself and my owen self-worth.

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