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does this make me a whore??

(51 Posts)
imnotaslapper Sun 19-Jul-09 09:51:57

Im sadsad

18 years ago I was a young 17 yr old girl,my friends and I used to go to a nightclub in town-I kind of used to knock about with a bouncer from the club-no sex,just snogging and stuff,this went on for a while and then I found out he had a gf so it stopped.

Shortly after in a drunken stupor I lost my virginity to another man (a bouncersad)-to me in my youth everyone was doing it,i was just in that circle and that was the way it went,unfortunately his mates burst in after wed 'done it'and whilst I was embarassed,I im my young self assured way just left and whilst I did speak to him I was never up for a repeat.

Shortly after I met another bloke he was almost 20 years older than me,we have been together 17 years and have 3 dc -unfortunately he too was a bouncer ....and he was at the same club and he saw the incident above.

He knew this before we started dating.

The first man i describe we used to see quite often and he always says he loves me even in front of everyone and dh always says well there you go,shes mine and its a bit of a laugh.(hes even told dh i would never sleep with him).

Well last night we went out on a rare occasion in the pub we saw one of the old team - I dont particularly like him but I was pleasant- well youve guessed it!! he then went on to describe me a promiscuos!!! dh went to the loo and i bollocked this bloke who admitted himself it was nearly 20 years ago i wasnt with dh then and dh knew about it,he hadnt meant to say it but cos he was 'pissed' it just came out sad.

Dh came back and things were ok.

when we got home he had a go at me and called me a whore and now im dreading today.

I didnt hurt anyone only myself and dh knew all about this before we started its not fair bring it up,I think he should have just said to the bloke 'stop right there it was 20 years ago things change'.

imnotaslapper Sun 19-Jul-09 09:54:17

bump -come on support me before dh gets up.

rubyslippers Sun 19-Jul-09 09:54:33

no you aren't a whore

why on earth would your DH call you that?

seems like an utter over reaction to an incident which happened 20 years ago

the other bloke sounds like a prize idiot

mrsmerryweather Sun 19-Jul-09 09:56:21

I don't think you need anyone here to tell you that you are not a slapper- it was 20 years ago and you have been faithful to your DH for 18 years.

It's his problem- and looks like he is angling for a row.

littlelamb Sun 19-Jul-09 09:56:31

O please. So you slept with a man once before your dh. Not a whore at all. Hopefully he had had one too many and will apologise this morning

TotalChaos Sun 19-Jul-09 09:56:37

agree with Ruby.

imnotaslapper Sun 19-Jul-09 09:57:18

thanks rube I am a regular addict poster,I just feel so sad that one knob can cause trouble like this,I said to dh in the normal world adults are able to speak in ways that dont deliberately cause trouble- he said the other bloke is just straight talking.

Do you agree dh should have just cut him off midsentence?

harleyd Sun 19-Jul-09 09:57:34

i would be demanding an apology from dh or he would be wearing his breakfast instead of eating it!

cornsillk Sun 19-Jul-09 09:57:41

God poor you. Your dh is being really mean.

daisydora Sun 19-Jul-09 09:58:08

You were young, not a whore.

Was your DH a virgin when you got together?? If not tell him to feck off and get off his moral high-horse!

cupofteaplease Sun 19-Jul-09 09:58:19

OMG this was 20 years ago!

I hope your dh is ready to do some grovelling today for calling you a whore. He was probably humiliated, as nobody would want to think of their partner in that way or hear them being called rude names. However, that is his humiliation, and he should have defended you, then moved on. Very wrong to take it out on you.

rubyslippers Sun 19-Jul-09 09:58:32

straight talking - pfffffffffffffft

he sounds like a drunk knobbo

imnotaslapper Sun 19-Jul-09 09:59:26

mrs mw he wont row i will get the cold shoulder now for ages.

I wouldnt mind but dh was married before and has had loads of gfs before me.

Its not as though he didnt know and as hes quite a bit older than me he knew what he was getting into.

RorysRacingMa Sun 19-Jul-09 09:59:33

Two trivial incidents 20 years ago do NOT constitute whoredom. I hope your DH was just upset and surprised about someone remembering this from so long ago.

My behaviour 20 years ago is a long way away from where i am now and i would be very hurt and upset that someone would use my behaviour then to describe me now.

Bumpety Sun 19-Jul-09 09:59:37

I'm sure you know you're not a whore.. unless you made some money out of it?! hmm

I would hazard a guess that your DH was embarrassed and lost face, which is not your fault, he owes you an apology - go kick him up the arse repeatedly until you get it!!

daisydora Sun 19-Jul-09 09:59:40

DH could have cut him off, but if it was me I'd have cut the other fella off.

And then I would have left (with Dh)

LuluMaman Sun 19-Jul-09 10:00:53

so you've been married for 20 years and because you slept with someone before you were with DH , you are a whore?

what a disgraceful attitude

nasty, insulting, jealous streak

he owes you an unreserved apology

did he not have other girlfriends before you?

imnotaslapper Sun 19-Jul-09 10:01:01

The other bloke told us about 20 times he was divorced so I think hes bitter, also he was keen not to let his gf overhear me blollock him.

Mamazon Sun 19-Jul-09 10:03:14

Unless he can tell you he was a virgin when you met tell him its none of his buisness.

you slept with one man and kissed another, either you have missed out the part where they paid you for those services you are not a whore.

he however is a wanker for throwing previous relationships, however brief back at you 20 years later.

fuzzywuzzy Sun 19-Jul-09 10:03:26

No you are most certainly not a whore.

Your Dh new about your previous encounter with the other bouncer he is being completely unreasonable, to call you such names.

Was he drunk when he called you names last night? Is he insecure?
Was he pure as the driven snow when you methmm?

mrsruffallo Sun 19-Jul-09 10:05:27

Wouldn't matter if you slept with 50 men before DH it still doesn't make you a whore
What an idiot to call his wife of 20 years that.
Your DH should have sprung to your defence, not berated you.
He's be the one getting the cold shoulder in this house

Cesario Sun 19-Jul-09 10:07:21

Does you dh give you the cold shoulder regularly?

imnotaslapper Sun 19-Jul-09 10:11:04

No he can be just v moody.

Its spoilt what had so far been a nice weekend.

I can see that hed be upset but he knew about it and has done for all these years.

Ive never been unfaithful to him.

RealityIsGettingMarried Sun 19-Jul-09 10:22:30

Message withdrawn

RealityIsGettingMarried Sun 19-Jul-09 10:22:54

Message withdrawn

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