Well, here I am again. Another problem, another name change (in case I accidentally outed myself on a previous one).
Very quick background. I have a DH, a son and two grown up SDDs. The mother (who married years again years before I met DH) has been increasingly hostile for a number of years now. It has become clear that she has been discussing the financial arrangements between her and DH with her children (when they were children in fact).
Recently DH has started receiving hate mail from his youngest (who's 17) asking why he didn't love her enough to pay what he should have. Now the fact is that the ex received what she was due via the CSA (her choice to use them, she didn't have to) and anything we had spare (of which there wasn't much) was spent directly on the children.
Relations with her have been very bad for years - contact being restricted, no information about the kids, etc, presents to the kids being sold, etc. But the difficult financial arrangements between her and DH had absolutely nothing whatsover to do with his feelings towards his children, and I can't believe a mother would put that idea in their heads.
How the hell does DH even start to explain this to his grown up children. Is it even possible to try? If you were them would you have wanted to hear it, or do you think the mother's influence will have gone too deep?
Any thoughts would be appreciated, but I don't necessarily expect any replies. It's always useful to put this stuff down in writing. DH is pretty ill by the way and I am increasingly worried about the effects of all this on him.
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Anyone out there who suffered from parental alienation as a child? Can you give me some advice?
13 replies
anothernamechangeyawn · 14/07/2009 23:54
OP posts:
dittany ·
16/07/2009 00:49
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