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Need advice on how to write a non threathing letter but need to get some points across

(6 Posts)
bottletopbill Tue 14-Jul-09 17:03:59

Sorry for posting here but not sure where else this would fit!

In a nutshell Ive been divorced for 19 years. My ex has never bothered with his 2 children, never goen for access, never paid maintenance and never had a job therefore no maintenance either thru CSA.

2 years ago our eldest daughter now 26 went to meet him, she spent a couple of hours with him and found out for herself what a scumbag he is - I have never spoken down about him to the 2 children but have told them that he was violent towards me and them and I had to get out - other than that I have not told them anything else and believe you me there are so many things I could of said.

The rest of my family know exactly what went on but only told my father small bits as didnt want to worry him (ill health).

Strangley this morning I received a statement from the CSA saying that he has earnt nil for the last year so therefore no maintenance....Ive had these letters for the last 19 years.

I need some help with this

Anyway I have just found out that my father has been sending my ex money every week for the last 10 years...apparently he came and begged for money to be sent like this saying he was poor and could only just afford rent.

To say Im furious is an understatement, my Dad said he felt sorry for him. I reminded my Dad of all the things he did to me and his grandchildren and he has now agreed not to send him money anymore.

This all stemmed from a letter my Dad received from him sayign that he hadnt heard from my Dad for a while ie. My Dad was in hospital and so the ex wasnt getting his money! I saw the letter.

I need to do something to let my ex know that I have found out, I have reminded my father of the things my ex did to me and that this money thing has now stopped and that he never goes near my father again etc...

I think a letter would be the most appropriate action but done want it to be threathing just need to get these points across.

sweetfall Tue 14-Jul-09 17:08:26

I wouldn't get involved - just let your father cut him off - sounds strange to me

bottletopbill Tue 14-Jul-09 17:17:19

My Dad is so niave...sees the good in everyone and doesnt see that they are taking advantage of him.

If my ex can do this he can hound my father so need to put a stop to it

sweetfall Tue 14-Jul-09 17:32:14

So write a letter from your father

Dear x

I have decided to stop sending you money. Please do not approach me again. I shall forward any such approach to the social security offices.

yours sincerely


bottletopbill Tue 14-Jul-09 20:02:31

actually thats a good idea never thought of that I will ell my Dad Im doing it though

bottletopbill Thu 16-Jul-09 21:57:39

have written the letter saying Ive only just found out what he's been taking for all these years. told him I have reminded my dad of the terrible things he did to me and that my dad has seen sense and told me to instruct him that no more money will be sent and that he must contact him at all under any circumstances.

I have not signed it as cant bare to but he will know its from me

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