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Seperated fro Partner - When do I tell my kids?

(3 Posts)
KDD2009 Mon 13-Jul-09 10:58:46


I am sitting on a fence at the moment and am not sure which way to jump.

My partner (father of kids) and I split up at the end of March this year. We are totally amicable and the kids have hardly noticed a difference due to him coming over to read bedtime stories most nights and seeing them every weekend.

He moved out 2 months ago and we decided that we would call his flat the "work flat" so there are no dramatic changes, the kids sleep over alternate Fri/Sat nights and love going there.

The problem I have is we have decided that there is no future in getting back together and seeing as it is final I am wondering if I need to tell my kids and explain or, seeing as this is working so well and they are so young do I let this drift so it is just a mild journey for them? I have no problems in being honest with them when they ask but should I talk and put this weight on their shoulders?

As I said, this is really amicable and although we have our differences the kids come first for both of us.

My kids are 6 (boy) and 4 (girl.

p.s. I was also approached in the playground the other day by another Mum saying she had heard I was "on the market" as she like to put it. Which makes me nervous of my boy hearing this from children at school.

Any advice would be appreciated.

LyraSilvertongue Mon 13-Jul-09 11:03:19

I think you should tell them before they hear i from someone else. If the mums at school are talking about it, it's only a matter of time before as classmate says something to them.
At their ages, they're more likely to be able to just accept it as they understand so little about relationships. The older they get, the more likely they are to be traumatised by the news, IMO.
My parents slipt up for a while when I was about 6 and I don't remember any feelings of trauma. We still saw our dad and that was all that mattered.

KDD2009 Mon 13-Jul-09 11:20:03

Thank you LyraSlivertounge. I also went through my parents seperation at 6 but did not see my dad and I still can't remember much trauma due to my Mum being so strong.

I think you are right, maybe do it at the start of the Summer hols so I have time to work with them if there are any changes to their behaviour.

I think I just needed to hear someone else say it.

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