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separate rooms, no conversation. Who is going to blink first?

(6 Posts)
whitetulips Sat 11-Jul-09 17:34:47

That says it all really. he moved into spare room 4 weeks ago, we have no meaningful conversation at all. Exchange less than 10 words some days. How long can this go on.
We both know this is the endgame.

Things been wrong for ages. He was working abroad, but managed to give me chlamydia on a home visit. I confronted him, he said it was from bouts of recurrent thrush I had had previously and nothing to do with him.
He has been back home for 9 months, and it is just yuck. I feel like a zombie.

He does some housework, takes the children (mainly our son) out if it suits him, but doesn't really take an interest in them.
How do you start THE conversation when you are not even speaking?? Our dd (14) wants us to split up, our ds (11)doesn't.

Any wise words?

foxinsocks Sat 11-Jul-09 17:39:32

oh I'm sorry

I don't know what to say but what an awful situation for you and shock at the chlamydia you poor thing.

Is he going away again soon?

I would go out, away from the kids, and try and have a chat about splitting up if that's what you want? Have you thought about what you want?

whomovedmychocolate Sat 11-Jul-09 17:40:10

Write him a note giving him a time and date and book a babysitter, go out to dinner or a coffee and just say 'this isn't working - how do we part so we minimise our children's suffering?'

Hassled Sat 11-Jul-09 17:40:20

You just need to do it. You can start the conversation - and start with something specific, like "I've made an appointment to see some solicitors to start divorce proceedings" (assuming that is what you want). Not a wooly "we need to talk" type opener, because that's too easy to walk away from. I'm sorry things are so shit.

whitetulips Sat 11-Jul-09 18:17:34

Thanks guys. I am scared I will be seen as the baddie if I ask first. Is that mad?
We have quite a lot of equity in the house, but I can't affford to live in this village on my salary. I don't trust him to pay anything, even with a court order.
I guess I am scared, but it is totally shit at the moment.

whomovedmychocolate Sat 11-Jul-09 19:43:01

You will be anyway - in his eyes at least.

Sadly almost everyone ends up financially worse off after divorce, but you can start again and find happiness for both you and your children.

Be brave for them if not for you.

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