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I feel all alone and unloved, pls help.

(11 Posts)
gembobs Sat 11-Jul-09 00:22:02

I don't think i love my DH anymore, we hardly spend anytime together and when we r together it is 2 look after DD (22months) & DS (6weeks) even wen DD has gone bed DS refuses 2 settle till we r nearly ready 4 bed, DD does go nursery but we still don't spend time together as DH is mainly having a nap and i am left 2 look after DS and i can't remember the last time we had sex.

I don't have any family near by as they live in the North West and i miss them so much, i have friends but as we r under social services they will not allow us 2 leave the kids with just anyone so friends r ruled out.

I did start talking 2 an ex on a social networking site towards the end of my pregnancy and he did make me feel good but he has since drifted away.

We do get moody with each other but i think that is lack of sleep, i have felt like walking away as i think my DH is a better parent than me.

I just want my DH back and just have us time once in a blue moon.

HolyGuacamole Sat 11-Jul-09 00:28:30

Have you talked to him about this? If so, what is he saying about it?

Prosecco Sat 11-Jul-09 00:32:34

Don't be too rash.

You have a very young baby so your hormone scould also be at play here.

In saying that, it does sound as if you feel a) he may not pull his weight and b) you don't do enough together.

Try to address these issues. Does he know how you feel? myabe if he helped out more with childcare you wouldn't feel this way. Maybe if you agreed to spend an evening together, watching a film, chatting , but set a date so you do it.

I would try to avoid getting close to someone else. The grass is always greener and all that, especially when you are responsible for two little ones and feeling the monotony and drudgery that comes with that.

gembobs Sat 11-Jul-09 00:39:35

That is another point we don't talk anymore so am unable 2 tell him how i feel, at the moment he is asleep wen he should b awake and this is wot it is like most evenings or wen he aint asleep he is in kitchen and i am in living room or i am having a nap (mainly cos he is allowed a nap in the day n i am not).


HolyGuacamole Sat 11-Jul-09 01:00:46

I think it's natural that you might be all out of sorts what with having a new baby in the house and trying to keep everything going. You really sound like you need a bit of support. You have to try and talk to him, not arguing but talking. Maybe when the two of you are lying in bed after the kids have gone to sleep?

Part of me thinks that you do still love him but that maybe because of all of the stress that you are under, you are realising that you miss the old times and that is making you doubt your feelings?

Stay away from the ex, he will only cause you problems and that is the last thing that you need.

Think of the things that would make you feel better as Prosecco says and tell him that you feel sad and you want things to be better. Could you maybe all get a few days away to see your family? Maybe a few days of being looked after and fussed over would give you a bit of a break?

TooTicky Sat 11-Jul-09 01:02:30

Oh gembobs sad

i agree that your hormones may be playing a part in this. I remember being terribly tearful when my dcs werevery young. Also, I don't know if you are getting enough sleep, but tiredness won't help.

I think you do need to find a way to speak to your dh as this really matters to you.

Does he sleep a lot? Does he have a sleep problem? I have lived with someone who slept a lot, including during the day, and that in itself can cause problems.

Keep talking on here.

gembobs Sat 11-Jul-09 01:07:48

Yes i could get away 2 c my family but i am dreading travelling with a toddler & baby as i ave 2 travel by coach which takes 5 hours (don't ave a car) and then another 45 mins on the bus 2 get 2 my family and not sure if family can accomodate us all as only my sister allows 2 stop there and she 3 DC's.

gembobs Sat 11-Jul-09 01:15:32

I think tomorrow i am going 2 meet up with a mate (not sure if DC's r coming) so i can ave a natter and a moan and maybe the time apart from DH will give me time 2 think as i find wen we do this we become better people with each other and then i find we r more loving 2 each other.

TooTicky Sat 11-Jul-09 01:18:12

I hope tomorrow is good.

HolyGuacamole Sat 11-Jul-09 01:19:55

Yes, that sounds like a good idea. A bit of time out never hurt anyone. You have to remember and be good to yourself smile

MissSunny Sat 11-Jul-09 01:49:02

Message withdrawn

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