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I feel all alone and unloved, pls help.

(3 Posts)
gembobs Sat 11-Jul-09 00:22:00

I don't think i love my DH anymore, we hardly spend anytime together and when we r together it is 2 look after DD (22months) & DS (6weeks) even wen DD has gone bed DS refuses 2 settle till we r nearly ready 4 bed, DD does go nursery but we still don't spend time together as DH is mainly having a nap and i am left 2 look after DS and i can't remember the last time we had sex.

I don't have any family near by as they live in the North West and i miss them so much, i have friends but as we r under social services they will not allow us 2 leave the kids with just anyone so friends r ruled out.

I did start talking 2 an ex on a social networking site towards the end of my pregnancy and he did make me feel good but he has since drifted away.

We do get moody with each other but i think that is lack of sleep, i have felt like walking away as i think my DH is a better parent than me.

I just want my DH back and just have us time once in a blue moon.

DippyDino Sat 11-Jul-09 10:04:20

It is very hard when the litlle ones are so little! But 6 weeks old is VERY tiny, hopefully your DS will settle more as he gets a bit older and you and dh might begin to snatch some bits of time together, however small.

I remember feeling totally numb for the first three months of my dd's life, I was just getting through it minute by minute until she got a bit older and I had time to do things like eat a full meal or finish a cuppa (non sleeping baby!)

I onestly think loads and loads of parents with 2 kids feel exactly like you do and just grit their teeth and somehow get through it. I'm not surprised that your love for your dh is in doubt, their is no time for love at the momement, but it will get better. Believe me, having a baby 6 weeks old is not a good time to make relationship decisions.

Hopefully someone will be along soon with those practical hints and tips (I only do the emotional stuff!)

Do keep posting if it is helping you to feel a bit more connected.

Lulumama Sat 11-Jul-09 10:09:30

you sound like you have an awful lot to deal with?

what is going on with social services? are you getting support?

with a 22 month old and 6 week old who does not settle, i'm not surprised yuo can't remember the last time you had sex !

getting involved emotionally or otherwise with an ex would just compound how you are feeling and create more problems, so it's a good thing he drifted off

have you spoken frankly to DH?

told him how you feel>

can you do something simple like just get a take out and a bottle of wine once DD has gone to bed? DS might not settle, but at least you don';t have to worr about cooking!

re your DH napping.... why is he napping ? is it every day? is he working nights?

i think 2 children under two is a massive strain as it is so constantly demanding, two in nappies, two needing constant feeding/attention/help with everythng.. it is an exhausting treadmill, but in another year, it will be different.

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