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Do I stay or go. yes, have posted before so please be patient

(35 Posts)
togoornot Thu 09-Jul-09 12:50:59

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lilacclaire Thu 09-Jul-09 12:55:00

Its really up to you, but ultimately if your that unhappy, life is too short if it can't be fixed and you BOTH deserve to be happy.

How does your dh feel? Is he happy with the way things are?

yama Thu 09-Jul-09 12:55:38

Doesn't sound great.

Why did you go back the twice you left?

togoornot Thu 09-Jul-09 12:57:10

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togoornot Thu 09-Jul-09 12:58:11

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junglist1 Thu 09-Jul-09 12:58:28

The negatives seem to outweigh the positives, especially regarding your injury. I can relate to numbers 1 3 5 and 8 on your list, and I'm in contact with Womenaid after 9 years of crap. If you do leave, stay alone for a while to give yourself some breathing space. What made you go back to him twice, did you miss him?

SlartyBartFast Thu 09-Jul-09 12:58:48

if you are asking here you obviously don't want to.
i am sure things can be resolved/ignored.

junglist1 Thu 09-Jul-09 12:59:11

Typed too slowly

FabBakerGirlIsBack Thu 09-Jul-09 13:00:22

It appears you stay for the money, or that is the only positive in your eyes.

If he came home tonight and said I have filed for divorce and packed a bag and left, how would you feel?

If he came home all sweet smelling and relaxed with flowers and a takeaway how would he feel?

If the police knocked on your door, how would you feel?

togoornot Thu 09-Jul-09 13:00:31

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Sarasue Thu 09-Jul-09 13:01:09

Leave, I am saying that but really don't know, I am in same position, and really don't know what to do. think hard and if you do leave don't go back, if it isn't working maybe it never will. I have male friend who obviously loves me and would love me to leave DH and be with him but not sure I can make the break. DH has never hurt me phisically though. Good luck with whatever you decide. xx

SlartyBartFast Thu 09-Jul-09 13:01:15

set the wheels in motion and then see how you feel

lilacclaire Thu 09-Jul-09 13:02:02

I agree with you moving out on your own (with ds) and stay away from your dh and the other man. If you don't, you are never going to give yourself the true space you need to work out what you really want.

togoornot Thu 09-Jul-09 13:02:39

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FenellaFudge Thu 09-Jul-09 13:14:30

Living in a state of uncertainty like this is awful. You need to decide and stick with it.

My opinion - which isnt worth much, we only have a tiny snapshot, you know the full picture - is that there are enough reasons to stay. But it would only work if you really gave it 100%. No more hankering after the other man, no more what if's.

I would say - and this is how I always feel about these situations - I really dont think it would be fair to take your DS straight into living with OM. He's at such a crucial age and that kind of thing is so bewildering and confusing for small children, even older children struggle.

Your relationship with OM, if thats what ou choose, should absolutely take second, third, fourth place to your sons emotional security. It'll be hard enough for him to process whats happening between mummy and daddy.

togoornot Thu 09-Jul-09 13:17:16

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togoornot Thu 09-Jul-09 13:18:50

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FenellaFudge Thu 09-Jul-09 13:21:54

Do you think dh is really dealing well with it, or could he be trying desperately to make you happy and not make demands so that maybe you'll decide to stay?

togoornot Thu 09-Jul-09 13:29:08

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sayithowitis Thu 09-Jul-09 14:58:19

Hello again Mymittens/Littlemucky etc etc.
I was wondering how long it would be before you posted the same stuff again.

You have had so much advice on here in the past and yet you never, ever, take any of it. You give part of the story, all designed to make your DH look as bad as possible, but then, little by little, the rest of the story gets revealed and we discover that you are equally as violent as him, that you have such very high standards that nobody could ever live up to them and frankly, you coma across as a real attention seeker.

If you are going to continue posting your story on here, at least be open about who you are and give all the details at the start. It is not fair of you to make your Dh sound as bad as you do, and then to gradually reveal that the 'injuries' he has inlicted on you are accidents, often contributed to by your own actions.

tennisaddict Thu 09-Jul-09 21:01:24

oh heck

MaDuggar Thu 09-Jul-09 21:33:50

Oh its you again. With the same question as a million times before. YOu could always read your old threads, and see what advice you were offered before? Hope you find the answer you are obvioulsy looking for.

MaDuggar Thu 09-Jul-09 21:35:17

and i agree with sayhowitis

togoornot Thu 09-Jul-09 21:49:18

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togoornot Thu 09-Jul-09 21:51:26

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