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Am I expecting too much from DH

3 replies

petnik · 09/07/2009 10:36

Ok this is going to be a long explanation. My DH has been a SAHD to our 2.11 DD for the last 15 months and at first everything was great. Hoaever just recently I am starting to feel like a single mum when i'm at home as he never wants to come out with me and DD. I work 4 days a week and on my day off I like to take DD out to give DH a break. However he has also stopped coming out with us at wekends saying he wants time to himself. Well wouldn't we all like time to ourselves!

When I get in from work he completely switches off from his parenting role and I am expected to entertain our DD for the 4 hours before she goes to bed.

Am I expecting too much to want him to share the workload when I get home? IMO we have both done a full day at work ad so should share when I'm home. I tried to explain this last night but he just ended up getting really angry and siad that if wanted time to myself i shouldn't have had a baby.

I think he is being a dick but waht do you all think and how best to broach the subject again do you think?

Any advice welcomed

OP posts:

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LadyMuck · 09/07/2009 10:40

Is he happy during his 4 days with DD? Is he getting adult company? Do you ever arrnage anytime for when it is just the 2 of you eg a babysitter?

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JesuslovesCatholicSchools · 09/07/2009 10:45

i think he is thoroughly pissed off with his job - so maybe he needs to change jobs.

it needs a sit down calm conversation - with ground rules

this is what we are going to talk about

in this context

in a calm manner

then say that you think he is unhappy - and you are willing to change that, however he cannot be a sahd until you get home - becuase you have worked a full day - just like he has, and whilst you recognise that his is a hard job - this isn't a martyrdom competition.

so how to resolve it?

does he want to change jobs?
does he want specific time for him? would you get specific time for you?

do you employ childcare?

do you change roles?

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petnik · 09/07/2009 14:03

Thanks all of you and espesh JesusLCS. It all sounds so much more reasonable when you ask for an honest opinion elswhere and get some decent advice about how to deal with it.

Thanks
all of you