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Thinking of a threesome, anyone have good experiences/advice?

(47 Posts)
VeryUnsure Tue 07-Jul-09 23:11:36

I have always been interested in women, and my DH and I often discuss fantasies involving another woman/couple. I am seriously considering broadening our sex life to include another couple/woman, but whenever I have seen previous posts about this they mainly seem to be negative. Could anyone tell me if they have had a good experience, and how we would even go about looking for someone to join us? Also what happens when you meet another couple/person, do you arrange a meeting before hand to see if you get on?

I'm sorry if this sounds naive, and please don't shout troll, I'm a regular MNetter, but have name changed, obviously. Please be gentle, its taken a lot of courage for me to push post......

mrsruffallo Tue 07-Jul-09 23:13:16

Don't do it
Some things are better kept as fantasy

PlumBumMum Tue 07-Jul-09 23:15:49

There was a thread on here not so long ago and although the op went ahead and said everything was fine

she then later posted on a different thread to say she had regrets about it all

I would leave it as a fantasy

drlove8 Tue 07-Jul-09 23:18:20

eeeewwww ....no dont do it.

VeryUnsure Tue 07-Jul-09 23:20:51

I'm getting less confident now...but there is so much talked about it, surely it must work for some couples.

UnquietDad Tue 07-Jul-09 23:22:43

"she then later posted on a different thread to say she had regrets about it all"

Actually, for "regrets about it all", read "the clap."

(Not a snide joke btw - she actually did.)

expatinscotland Tue 07-Jul-09 23:25:05

Where's SGB, she's usually around this time of night? She's had experience of FF/M threesomes and is probably better placed to discuss it.

PlumBumMum Tue 07-Jul-09 23:26:07

hmm UQD

nessus Tue 07-Jul-09 23:26:22

I am for all purpose and intention a free-spirit but I would never ever advise someone to invite a 3rd party into their bed/floor/shed/car

It will never ever end well.

If you feel your relationship is lacking something, I suggest looking to yourself and partner to provide this, if however you do feel the need for a 3rd party, I would suggest a therapist/counsellor of some sort.

VeryUnsure Tue 07-Jul-09 23:27:28

OK, so that's something else I need to ask, what about contraception? Presumably condoms..but something like the clap? How is that to be avoided?

UnquietDad Tue 07-Jul-09 23:28:10

plumbummum - really, that wasn't intended as a sneer. If we are thinking of the same one, the OP genuinely came back to say she had contracted a venereal disease from her threesome. Doesn't anyone else remember?

expatinscotland Tue 07-Jul-09 23:29:56

The person in question contracted gonnarhea from her female partner via oral sex. The third party, the female, apparently had gonnarhea in her throat, performed oral sex on a female parter and the this partner then contracted gonnarhea.

They used condoms when it came to sex with the male in the equation, but no protection during oral sex.

Tinker Tue 07-Jul-09 23:30:26

In/from her/someone's throat, I remember (from lurking)

expatinscotland Tue 07-Jul-09 23:30:30

x-post with UQD. Yes, I remember and was on her thread.

VeryUnsure Tue 07-Jul-09 23:30:43

nessus, it isn't the need for a third party as such, more that I have always been curious, and now feel confident enough to really explore...but want DH involved, obviously.

UnquietDad Tue 07-Jul-09 23:30:56

phew, I was starting to think I'd imagined remembering that.

VeryUnsure Tue 07-Jul-09 23:31:59

Goodness, in the other girl's throat?!

expatinscotland Tue 07-Jul-09 23:32:09

If you are curious, why not first explore bi-sexuality without your husband, to see if it's something you want to involve him in at all?

I don't speak from direct experience, but I do have some lesbian friends who have sex with bi-sexual woman, but not with the man involved, just female to female.

PlumBumMum Tue 07-Jul-09 23:33:38

Oh no must have missed that one or that bit,
although I do think you were on the second thread I am talking about!
don't want to say to much about the other thread as I don't want the poster to think I am talking about her, but she did regret it

VeryUnsure Tue 07-Jul-09 23:39:16

expatinscotland I have thought about it, but in some way, in my own head, that could be cheating....I don't even know how to meet a girl on my own, seriously, I haven't got the faintest idea, and I don't think I could ask anyone in RL.

MissSunny Tue 07-Jul-09 23:44:57

Message withdrawn

UnsureMk2 Tue 07-Jul-09 23:47:08

Hi veryunsure,
just wanted you to know that your are not the only one contmplating this. In fact I could have written that post word for word so Im interested to see what kind of response this post will receive.

VeryUnsure Tue 07-Jul-09 23:49:02

Thank you MissSunny I thought it might provoke a bit of a bashing, but I just think if I went off on my own I wouldn't be quite so comfortable. My DH and I have a very honest relationship, I wouldn't say "I'm going to have a one night stand tonight" whether it be with a man or a woman...

VeryUnsure Tue 07-Jul-09 23:52:55

UnsureMK2 I always feel a bit odd, everyone seems to be very confident of their own sexuality, and whether a threesome is right or not, and I just don't know. DH isn't pressuring me, in fact it maybe a little bit the other way round, so I don't fall into that category. I just don't know whether we should, and what the "nuts and bolts" of it all is (if you pardon the expression). We are in other ways very experimental, and I am very happy with him, I just wonder....

MissSunny Tue 07-Jul-09 23:55:35

Message withdrawn

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