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I just feel completely depressed

(20 Posts)
susia Sun 05-Jul-09 20:26:49

Today was my son's 6th birthday party. It was in a soft play place and I was totally stressed out about it I don't know why.

Firstly, I had a friend's son staying over the night before. He is really rude and bad mannered and they stayed up till about 10 pm chatting, then were up at 6.30am so that didn't help.

Then my oldest friend who is my son's godmother had asked whether she could leave her son. I had hoped she would stay and help as I am on my own and only had my mum (plus one other parent I had asked to stay) to help wit 15 boys. She asked if she could drop her son at my house first but I couldn't take him as I already had my mum, my brother's son and my son's friend in the car. She then rang about 5 minutes before I left asking where the place was and I said it was on the invitation as I didn't know the address off by heart. When she arrived to pick her son up she grabbed him and said 'hurry up, we've got to go'. She was on her way back to another party where she had been during my son's party.

The parent who I had asked to help had got lost on the way to the party so was an hour late.

My mum stressed me out as she arrived so late that I was almost on my way out of the house despite me asking her to come early.

Finally my next door neighbours who I have been friends with for several years have all of a sudden become friends with other neighbours and see them all the time without inviting us. I have tried inviting them all over together but between us there are 7 kids under 6 and it is too much. So I feel really left out.

Just feeling miserable and in a totally bad mood.

susia Sun 05-Jul-09 20:29:24

the situation with my neighbours (who I'm still on friendly terms with by the way) upsets me so much it makes me want to move. Everything just feels too much at the moment. I am pissed with my friend and feel really rejected and taken advantage of.

I'm probably paranoid but just feel crap about it all.

wrinklytum Sun 05-Jul-09 20:30:25

Oh dear.Sounds like a bad day.Could you relax with a nice bubble bath/good book/glass of wine.?

Parties for children are a nightmare at the best of times without all of the extraneous complications you have had!

susia Sun 05-Jul-09 20:38:39

yeah having a glass of wine at the moment. Not helping much though.

motherlovebone Sun 05-Jul-09 20:40:28

Hi Susia. no wonder you are pissed off, everything has been left for you to do, you are wanting your pals to bolster you up but they are busy.
i think its nothing personal, just that they are busy.
horrible situation with neighbs, when you know their every move, feeling left out.
is there a park nearby? arrange to all meet, with all kids, so much easier when nobodys place is getting trashed.
finally, dont be hard on yourself!

FabBakerGirlIsBack Sun 05-Jul-09 20:41:22

Maybe think about what is upsetting you the most and try and deal with that?

susia Sun 05-Jul-09 20:48:32

its the neighbours situation that is upsetting me most. The worst of it is that my fence needed replacing so last week had it done. On their suggestion I had it put up much lower (around 4ft instead of about 7ft) so that we could chat over it. Only this has only highlighted to me how often the other neighbours are round at theirs and how me and my son are alone at ours as we can now see right into each others gardens.

I feel like putting up the old fence (or similar) one again. Totally pissed off with it.

motherlovebone Sun 05-Jul-09 20:51:54

are you friendly enough to invite yourself in?

susia Sun 05-Jul-09 20:55:31

no, I don't feel I can. It seems too much really. Really pissed off about the fence though.

potatofactory Sun 05-Jul-09 20:59:51

I feel for you - it's so horrible to feel rejected, and the fence thing just rubs your nose in it. I have no useful suggestions, but you are perfectly entitled to feel pissed off.

susia Sun 05-Jul-09 21:03:30

would you act like a stroppy cow and just put up a huge fence again (at great cost)? cos that's what I feel like doing.

motherlovebone Sun 05-Jul-09 21:06:13

what about the park/public/neutral meeting place idea?
otherwise, at this point, i would be thinking, sod them.
how do you get on with DS classmates parents? start filling your diary with other playdates.

susia Sun 05-Jul-09 21:09:24

my son is at a very small school - that is another story. He didn't get into any of our local schools and that is part of the problem, my two neighbour's children did. I am still very bitter about it 2 years on. Anyway the school he is at is not very sociable, and if there are playdates, he is at an age where they are just left and I don't really get to know the parents.

potatofactory Sun 05-Jul-09 21:09:52

I would not change the fence. There's no going back from that, and I don't think it would really make you any happier to do that...

susia Sun 05-Jul-09 21:19:45

I know I can't change the fence again. I can't afford to either. I feel like saying I'm thinking of doing it though. Just so that they realise.

susia Sun 05-Jul-09 21:22:14

I'm also pissed off with my friend. I know she is pissed off with me, because I had originally said I didn't mind if she didn't stay, then thought about it and changed my mind. I thought she would say that of course she would stay and help. She seems to be in a strop with me because when she rang 5 mins before leaving I was quite short with her.

I feel like saying that it would have been nice to have had some support but feel it will escalate into something worse and we end up not talking.

potatofactory Sun 05-Jul-09 21:23:34

I often think of things I want to say to people (including in similarish situations to yours). I am ALWAYS so glad I have never said what I wanted to. I wanted to text a crap friend last night something along the lines of 'I'm assuming you can't come to the pizza night as you can't be bothered to even respond top my text inviting you...' So glad I didn't, even though it is frustrating not to communicate when your feelings have been hurt.

Hassled Sun 05-Jul-09 21:24:04

What you could do with the fence issue is tack some trellis on to the top - that will take it up at least another foot. So a sort of half-way house (you'll be able to see through the gaps until you get a climber growing), but better than nothing.

motherlovebone Sun 05-Jul-09 21:26:16

is your boy on the waiting list for a local school?
do that...
hmmm, how else could you actively plan to fill up your diary?
what area are you in?
what clubs are there for DS?
have you tried to meet others from MN?
how about the meet-a-mum assoc.?
netmums? you can advertise for free.

sorry this had taken so long/might be irrelevant, had to settle DS.

motherlovebone Sun 05-Jul-09 21:33:26

its over now, you done the party on your own (well done)
you could ask the neighbours what they think about putting a trellis and climbers? broach the subject next time you are passing, say you feel a bit exposed...
do you get on with their new set of friends?

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