Have name changed for this. Sorry it's a bit long.
Been with dh for 12 years, married for 3 and have a 1 yr old dd. Both in 30's.
Prior to dd, dh would often stay out all night drinking. When drunk he sometimes gets verbally nasty towards me.
When not drunk he is loving, caring, charming, funny, etc. He is also 'hands on' with dd and does all the washing and most of the housework.
Since dd's arrival he has not stayed out all night, and has not gone out as often, but there have still been numerous episodes when he has come in very drunk.
About six weeks ago he came back at reasonableish hour but had a friend in tow. They were trying to be quiet but in that way drunk people think they're quiet and I didn't sleep a wink as they stayed up until 5am. Then I when I came down at 6am with dd there was drunk friend asleep on the sofa.
He said he wouldn't do this any more and we've had a few weeks of him coming back at a reasonable time and in a reasonable state. As a result, we've been getting on extremely well, and enjoying each others company.
Needless to say, he has done it again last night. Came in at 4am, having told me he would be back at half 8, rolling around drunk. He called me a 'stupid cow'. I have not slept much at all again.
My father was rushed to hospital last week and we were going to take dd to see him today but I don't think I should risk driving her when I've had no sleep. Also, was needing some tlc last night due to situation with dad, and I told dh this and asked him not to go out last night.
I don't think my emotional needs are being met in this relationship any more, and think that social life is prioritised over me. Always was, but now it matters more.
I think my life might be easier if I didn't have to put up with such behaviour.
I think he will be devastated if I ask him to go, but I am just so tired of it.
When I try to speak to him about it, he often acknowledges that he is out of order, but then will back track and tell me that I am making unreasonable demands.
Also scared of being single mum and god knows what would happen with house etc.
I am from a 'broken home' and I so wanted dd to have it differently. Also, would greive for fact that she wouldn't have a sibling. (I am 38 so unlikely). I do love him but not sure it's enough.
Any words of wisdom please?
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Relationships
Thinking about asking dh to leave. Am very confused about what to do.
15 replies
HiyaCat · 05/07/2009 07:04
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